I am nineteen years old, but I will be turning twenty in about three months. I think of the twenties (or at least the early-mid twenties) as a time of constant change. Admittedly, this doesn't seem too far off from the teenage years. If your teen days were anything like mine, they would have been tumultuous and full of trial and error. As a fourteen, sixteen, eighteen year old, I was excused. In life, you get a certain grace period where you are allowed to mess up a ton but still be forgiven for it, because you are learning. I like to think that I now have my morals and goals straightened out at this point (and I really think I do), which is why I think the constant change that you experience in your twenties is just different. Although there is a little bit of those crazy changes (for example if you were to switch your major, break up with a significant other, or encounter a life altering experience), you are most likely set in your ways. You know by now that you prefer wheat bread over white, and you know the time that you need to go to bed by in order to be productive for the next day. You are at least starting to form some sort of idea of what type of work you would like to do for the rest of your life. You are realizing whether or not you would like to get married and have children, or if you prefer to fly solo. You know how much you can take emotionally and physically, and in general you know yourself pretty well. The change I am referring to isn't so much of change, instead it is a head full of doubt. There is a lot of things that you do not yet know and things that you cannot yet do when you reach your twenties. There is a constant pressure to figure these things out sooner rather than later. I think the biggest thing that throws me for a loop when making important decisions is the knowledge that I cannot be absolutely sure of anything. Yes, I have lots of ideas and dreams of how I want my life to pave out; yet I cannot be too sure. Things change all of the time, and I think the biggest challenge of my twenties will be to accept this. I do not have any clue of how my life will turn out, and this is both frightening and delightful. I am not currently sure which I feel more. I often hear people around me talk with such confidence about their plans, and I have caught myself doing the same thing more than I would like to admit. "I am going to be a special education teaching with an emphasis on literacy, and I am going to have at least six children, and I am going to live somewhere that is perpetually 65 degrees." We say these things as if the more firm we are in our belief, the more likely it is to happen as we wish. But plans change all of the time, people change, our locations change, the world around us changes. We are not in complete control of what will happen in our lives. Already, I have had some wonderful things that I could have never imagined happen to me. I have not experienced true misfortune, but I know this is yet to come. I am not being pessimistic, but truthful when I state that everybody suffers. The rich man to the poor man, the pessimist to the optimist. Nobody will escape at least one occurrence of misfortune. We have seen this occur in the loss of a career, the death of a child or spouse, a horrible illness. It is not a guarantee that you will be protected from these things, which is why we must be open to anything that life throws us. We must also remember the wonderful things that life will bring that are unplanned. I had no idea that I would meet my boyfriend (who I think is truly my soulmate) when I was so young, and I had no idea that I would ever come to be humble enough to serve others with everything that I have. I had no idea that I would feel so grateful and appreciate of my parents when I was busy being a thirteen year old know-it-all. I had no idea that I would change my life plan and attend a university last minute. These are some of the unplanned and unexpected things that have happened to me that I feel overwhelmingly happy about. Sometimes,unplanned things can be pretty cool. Today, I want to be grateful for the things that I do have, and all of the wonderful unplanned things that are still to come. But I also want to take time to pause and consider the things that are out of my control. In a time where we long for control over everything, we must remember that there are things that will change (for the better or for worse), and that the only thing that we can control is our attitude and where we will go when we experience things that are unexpected. I want to admit that while I kinda have it figured out, I also kinda don't. And I am beginning to feel good about this.