If you haven’t heard about the game that’s been topping the
charts on all app stores then where have you been? You’re answer to that is
probably, “having a life,” because when you start to play Kim Kardashian’s
game, “Kim Kardashian:
Hollywood,” your life will change dramatically. The dramatic part: you will
have no life.
Your new life, given to you by your new best friend Kim Kardashian, will involve photo shoots every hour, dealing with the infamous, annoying human being, Willow Pape, who has a very strong resemblance to Paris Hilton. Also going on dates with jerk D-listers who rave to you about how much they want to go on a date with you, eventually making you regret saying yes once the date arrives because they will bash your outfit choice; which you just bought might I add, and so much more. It’s a rough, fake life living in Kim K’s world, but you can’t help but love it. Here are some things Kim K addicts have to deal with every minute. Because let’s face it, you don’t ever take a break.
1. Energy.
Energy is sincerely and undoubtedly your life. When you run out of energy in this game, it takes light years for it to finally fill up. In real life though, you don’t have to rely on lightening bolts to finish photo shoots and go on dates with your snobby, rude boyfriends. You just do it. This is where the urge to delete this game, comes in to play. But you mustn’t quit, nor will you actually because if you didn’t know this already, you can get energy from any tree, bush, blue fire hydrant, and cat, plus a lot of other miscellaneous objects.
2. Money.
Continuing off the last struggle. Trying to find energy costs
money. Not a lot, but it does eventually add up, which could potentially make
you miss a photo shoot because you don’t have enough money to fly back to
London from New York. Yes, this is coming from personal experience. Also, us
addicts spend so much money trying to look good for the nonexistent fans and
important people so we don’t drop lower on the list from being #1 to #2. IT
HAPPENS. I mean I just bought this outfit yesterday for $2,000 dollars and now
you’re telling me I look like old laundry?! Why do I even bother trying?
3. Kim Stars.
It is literally impossible to get these stars. For a while on level 19, I received stars every time I finished a job, but that doesn’t happen anymore. Sad face. The cool thing about these stars is you can buy animals with them, new hairstyles (because the default/cheap ones look hideous), you can charm people (comes in handy when you want to skip showing what you got for photographers and directors and go right to the actual gig), and you can also get awesome clothes and more energy. The fact that it’s so hard to get these stars is quite frustrating, yet you still continue to play.
4. Leveling up.
Leveling up and going from an E-Lister to an A-Lister is a huge deal for any Kim K addict. Every time I reached a new list I announced it to everyone in the area, even if it was public. My mom actually believed me when I told her I was a D-Lister. Then 5 seconds later she asked, “Are you playing that stupid Kardashian game?” which I embarrassingly replied, “Yes…” Sad, I know. But No Regrets! Leveling up is also an extreme accomplishment because you get more energy and a Kim K star! Gotta rack those stars up, you know what I’m saying.
5. Willow Pape.
This girl…ooooh this girl. She’s annoying and rude, and so childish. If you’ve never played this game before you might think I’m talking about a real person. No. I’m not. Willow Pape is my fictional arch nemesis and I didn’t even do anything to her to make her hate me so much. I guess this is what real life celebs have to deal with. Arch nemesis’ that they’ve never done anything to…or maybe not. Maybe this game is getting to me so much that I’ve been blinded by what’s real and what’s not. Anyways, Willow Pape is the “ratchet” one. (She calls you that in the game…).
6. Guys.
Every single guy is rude. Don’t be fooled when they try to charm you with interesting pickup lines. They are evil and comment on your outfits to your face. They are not nice comments either! I really want to know what Kim was thinking when she made up this game. Also if you don’t go on a date like every 5 hours your boyfriend will want to break up with you. You think to yourself, “Is this real life?!” and then you answer that question with “No, it’s not.”
7. Simon & Maria.
Simon is the only guy that will never stop calling you. I kid you not. He’s your manager in the game and he is super needy, cracks the worst jokes even though you can’t help to giggle at them, but you can’t help but love him either. Maria is rude, but so incredibly dedicated to making you seem like the awesome and amazing person that you are. She’s a little sketchy when it comes to her asking if she can take Willow Pape down, social media style, but you also can’t help but love her for that too.
8. Kim.
It gets annoying when you want to call her and learn that she can only call you when she wants/needs something. Needy much? But, she helped you work your way to the top and only wants the best for you. Kim Kardashian is your new best friend whether you think it’s real life or strictly in the game. Once the game is over you’re going to miss her saying “Bible” and those hand hugs.
