This wasn't something that I had ever planned to do. I was simply on one of several social media sites (Facebook maybe) scrolling through my feed as usual. Suddenly, this beauty pops up on my feed:
As of right now, I have 1,271 friends on Facebook. They all know that I love my grandma. My grandmother knows that I love her—I say it every time I see her. I kept scrolling through my feed. Nothing has actually happened yet. It's been over a week, and I just talked to her a few days ago. My father hasn't barged into my room in tears yet, my funeral clothes haven't been touched since 2007 and nobody is calling my phone rampantly. I can only assume that Grandma Betsy is still sitting at the kitchen table with Papaw watching the 6 o'clock news.
However, I can't be entirely sure. The mysterious shadow people can strike at any moment. Therefore, I have just texted her.
Though slightly confused, I am here to say that I still have somebody to go to for my haircuts (to which I always get a lecture about how I never change my signature hairstyle).
Also, yes, I call her Mams (short for Mamaw). Papaw is known as Paps. Don't judge.
So, there you go, Mams, the entire nation knows about you. It's only a few days before the paparazzi beats down your door.
Getting back on track here, why do these types of memes and pictures plague social media. As if Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, is sitting on his porch with a death ray monitoring my every mouse click. We see these pictures and think "Oh no! I love (Mom, Grandma, The Pope, Jesus, Vishnu, Darth Vader, Sally from next door, etc). I don't want them to die. Yet, we know that the probability of them keeling over in their flower bed five seconds later would be next to impossible. Even if that did happen, the horrific irony would be highly intriguing.
As a Christian, I believe there is a Heaven and a Hell. When I die, I don't believe that I will have to log on to all my social media and present it to God. I highly doubt he would want to scroll through thousands of my sub-par selfies just to see if I shared tons of those "Share for Jesus, Keep scrolling for Satan" memes. Obviously, I don't like Satan, but I highly doubt that Jesus Christ is going to condemn me to Hell for not sharing a picture. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a Christian, it's in most of my social media bios. I'm much more of a fan of these kind of Jesus pictures anyway:
Not to be condescending, but if you believe that sharing a picture gets you into Heaven, you might want to rethink all of your religious theology.
That being said, the occasional post is perfectly OK. If you support (insert belief, practice, group, law), you have every right to post about it! Just limit the "condemning us to or murdering our families" posts as they are clogged on my social media along with everything Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.
In the words of a Facebook teen: RANT OVER!
