Honestly, I'm kind of over it. Florida is not this crazy place people think it is, there's more to do than college, and Miami and the whole state is actually kind of magical. Obviously, we have a little crazy moments, and it doesn't help that social media portray us as savages, but deep down if you're from Florida you know that there's no place like home. Yeah, big cities are cool and all, but nothing beats being home.
1. "You're from Naples? Cool my grandparents retired there!"
If I had a beer every time someone said that...I would definitely have a beer gut by now.
2. "I didn't know anyone lived there, except for old people?!"
Yeah, here in Florida the average age is 97. We drive golf carts in the street and don't know how to parallel park. Off course there are other people than old people you morons...
3. Fake news or Florida news?
I can honestly make up any crazy story and say that it happened in my high school, and people will believe me. Oh wait, I don't need to make up crazy stories, I can just tell the crazy stories that did happen in my high school...
4. "If you're from Florida why'd you go to school up north?"
When you grow up somewhere for the majority of your life, sometimes you don't appreciate it as much. First of all, rude of you for asking me why I moved like I am not welcome in Chicago. Second of all, I can do whatever I want, so, please. Mostly, I moved because I wanted a big city, I am a hopeless romantic, and I was lowkey hoping to find love in a big city.
5. "Aren't people on drugs all the time and eat people's faces?"
Yes and no. No and yes.
6. "Isn't everyone from Florida tan and crazy?"
There are still pale people in Florida, I know shocking! I guess it has something to do with the fact that people live in Florida, and people are humans, and humans are all different, and different means variety. Just a wild guess.
7. "If Florida is so great, why don't you move back!"
Actually, I am moving back, eventually. My family lives there, so obvi I'm not just going to leave them. For the time that I am a young adult though, I want to travel. I want to explore, so stop telling me that Florida is great okay, I know that now!
8. "How come you don't know how to swim, you're from Florida?"
Because no one actually goes swimming, duh! We go to the beach, or the pool just to take Insta pics, DUH!
9. "So you like guns"
Why are you just assuming things...but yes I do, not everyone from Florida does though, because, uh, people are different.
10. "Oh yeah, my friend goes to (insert Florida School)"
If it's not FSU, UF, or Miami, it's probably just another school that parties way too hard, and it kind of is a little trashy.
11. "So you always go to Universals?"
I haven't been there since middle school, and that's honestly kind of sad.
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