When I was younger, I loved imagining my future. It was always vague, but I knew I wanted a husband and the perfect little daughter. The idea revolved mainly around being able to dress her up and do her hair, similar to the way I would play with my dolls around the time. I loved the fantasy of a beautiful family living perfectly happy in a big house.

In middle school, I rarely envisioned my future beyond the daunting years of high school, let alone thought about what it would be like to have kids. However, at this age it seemed as if having kids was an inevitability of life. The way I was raised and the way I saw it was that everybody grows up, gets married and has kids. It wasn’t a question or a choice.

Somewhere around my sophomore year of high school I developed a strong aversion to children. I couldn’t stand babysitting, kids annoyed me within minutes and I decided I hated the idea of ever having children of my own. These thoughts were not evolved much beyond just a strong hatred of kids.

I was not discrete about this distaste. I would mainly discuss it with my friends, but due to the very small size of my high school, many of my teachers were aware of my opinion on the subject. Most of my teachers would just laugh at me and some would make a joke out of it, saying that I would end up having at least four kids.

None of these jokes bothered me much; I knew they were harmless and I was very aware that I could easily change my opinion on the subject later on, but for the time being, I was hardheaded in my mindset. It wasn’t until one teacher said to me, “I believe that a woman’s life has no purpose until she has a child”, that I truly started thinking about why my aversion to children was considered such a joke.

Sitting here, writing this article at 19 years old, though my reasoning has changed and though I am still open to my mind changing, I can say with confidence that I do not want a child. I no longer have the same hatred for kids that I once had; I can admit now how cute they can be and I appreciate and believe when a woman says how wonderful it is to be a parent. I absolutely know that having a child changes you and gives you new perspectives on your life.

However, I am appalled by the idea that creating more human beings is my only purpose for living. A woman is more than a mother. She is capable of doing and achieving great things that in no way involve having children. Having kids is a decision, not an inevitability and certainly not a necessity.