It's the same old thing every day.

When you're the kid with the impossible-to-pronounce name, some things in life just become routine...

Having a substitute teacher always goes the same way.

He or she gets to your name on the attendance sheet; pauses for five to ten seconds; darts his or her eyes back and forth quickly, sure that there must be a mistake because that can't be a real name; sits up nice and tall, ready to show off and get every syllable right; then completely butchers your name as if it came straight out of a biology textbook.

Your name is always spelled wrong.

Yes, you're aware the I is pronounced like a Y and yes, the CH sounds like a K but no, that does not mean people can spell your name however they see fit. It's spelled the way it's spelled and unfortunately it's not up to the public to decide on its validity. You appreciate all the attempts, though.

Fake names at Starbucks and Panera are a must.

And any other food joint that requires your name upon purchase. The odds of an employee spelling your name right are slim to none and when they call out your order they're just going to say your name wrong, anyway. Might as well save everyone the trouble and become a Jessica or a Michael for ten minutes.

People want to know "where your name is from."

Either you know the full history of your name or you know absolutely nothing about it. Either way, next time you get asked this, turn it around on them: "Where did your name come from, Emily Meghan Smith?" Chances are, they don't know the history of theirs, either.

You're never getting a bracelet with your name on it.

Why would anyone make one with your name on it? If people can't say it, they won't bother to print it on a piece of jewelry. Better luck next time.

"You have such a pretty name" = "I'm sorry I just completely butchered saying it ten seconds ago."

There are two ways this pans out: 1) someone says your name wrong, you correct them, they pronounce it right and then say "Wow that's so pretty." OR 2) someone says your name wrong, you correct them, they pronounce it wrong again, you correct them again, this happens one or two more times, then finally after it getting it right they say "Wow that's so pretty." In situation 1 this is a compliment and is taken as such. In situation 2, their guilt over saying your name wrong so many times is not lost and the kind words feel empty and forced.

So here's to you, Person Whose Name I Probably Won't Say Right. Keep on correcting people and keep on going by pseudonyms at chain restaurants. The good news is, if you ever do find a bracelet with your name on it, it'll be on sale because there'll be a missing L or an added Z.