em·pa·thy

ˈempəTHē/

noun

1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

We’ve all heard that saying “put yourself in their shoes,” intact, this may have been one of the first things your parents taught you growing up. Although it may sound cliché, it is one of life’s greatest lessons.

While it may be hard to follow through with it, it is important to remember to always put yourself in “their” shoes. Weather “they,” are your best friend, your coach, your sibling, your roommate, always try to imagine what it might be like to see their side of things.

It is easy to look at others’ perspectives when they align with your own.

It is when you do not see eye to eye with this person, however, that this becomes a very difficult task.

Disagreements. This is when it is most important to look at the other person’s perspective, and when we are least likely to do so. It is critical in any relationship; friends, partner, professional, whatever it may be- to take a step back and almost remove yourself from the situation. In the heat of the argument, this becomes very difficult to do. We become so wrapped up in our own point of view, that we find ourselves almost unable to look at the other person’s side of things. Luckily, I have been fortunate to have some great mentors in my life that constantly remind me to put myself in the other person’s shoes. Once you are able to do this, you are almost 100% likely to be the “bigger person,” and put an end to whatever the disagreement is.

Sometimes, the situation isn’t even ours to handle, and somehow we still find ourselves wrapped up in it one way or another. I’m talking about that time that your best friend’s roommate supposedly talked about her behind her back, or when your friends’ relationship doesn’t workout and you just don’t know which side to take. It’s not about taking sides. It is exactly when we decide to “pick a side,” that we are no longer looking at the other person’s perspective. It’s almost an automatic instinct to take your best friend’s side, or even to believe that only the first side of the story is the whole truth. However, when it is not our issue to deal with, it is important to be that friend that steps up and reminds each other to look at all perspectives, rather than just their own.

Somehow, the lesson of putting oneself in the other person’s shoes has just become a little more complicated than we thought it could be. But this is only because this lesson will always be relevant in life, and therefore is something that we must always remind ourselves of. If we are able to do so, we can truly understand the meaning of empathy. And at that point, we begin to live a life that is more selfless, wholesome, and valuable.