It’s the most wonderful time of the year… Unless your parents have accidentally forgotten that you exist and left you at home by yourself while they tour Europe! Now, I come from a family where I have eleven brothers and sisters and I can say with complete confidence that my parents never even went as far as forgetting one of us at the grocery store!
However, I can still empathize with the McCallisters over forgetting their son because he did misbehave the night before and ruin the family pizzas. Anyone that ruins a pizza is no friend of mine. I’m just joking (kind of), but I realized the best way Kevin can forgive his parents for abandoning him is by making his best and most sophisticated Christmas list to date to help him through this difficult time!
An Alarm Clock
This one’s self explanatory.
A Cell Phone
Crisis averted... Nuff’ said.
All Neon Colored Clothing…
Who could forget him now?
A Tarantula Cage
As much as I enjoyed watching this tarantula ATTACK Marve, that thing deserves to be locked up.
A Cookbook for Kids
A nutritious diet is important for any growing boy; Kevin needs to start improving.
Insulin
His blood sugar is through the roof!
A Security System
This system is amicable but far too time consuming. And could never involve the police.
Ultra Enforced Reusable Shopping Bags
A true tragedy. This can never happen again.
A Fire Extinguisher
It's good to protect the house, but not burn it to the ground.
A Family Who Doesn’t Forget About Him
This would be one where your parents tell you “Santa’s elves can’t make everything!”
Enjoying the Luxuries Your Parents Have Spoiled You with Due to their Negligence.
He didn't even have to put this one on his list!
Now Kevin will be able to clean up all the mess he had to make to protect himself, and still be able to have a wonderful holiday with his loving family. Merry Christmas everybody!
