Trigger warning: This article mentions rape and sexual assault. Some of the content may be difficult or triggering to read.
My heart is breaking for Kesha. It breaks more for those who empathize with her and for the victims who suffer from this toxic system, one that devalues their worth and refuses to acknowledge their pain. We cannot regard what happened with Kesha as an isolated incident — but I do not want to devalue her situation. It is important, however, that learn from what is happening and the injustice that is being done to help Kesha heal and move forward, as well as educate ourselves on this epidemic and how to address it.
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The first thing we have to do is get some kind of grip on how significant and terrifying the judge's ruling is. Only 5 percent of men commit 90 percent of all sexual assaults, and serial offenders, on average, commit six rapes. Kesha is not even asking for her assailant to be arrested and jailed — she just wants to break her contract with him. The fact is that Dr. Luke has bragged about his reputation for sexual interactions with girls he purposely gets drunk. Going by statistics and Dr Luke's own claims, it is likely this could happen to another young, unsuspecting artist. Kesha was courageous and brave to speak out about being assaulted, but the fact that no one in a position to help her fully understand the implications of giving Dr. Luke a free pass truly highlights the corruption and deeply embedded misogyny in our society and world today.
According to the US Department of Justice, one in five women experience sexual assault, and one in 33 men experience sexual assault (apologies for reinforcing a binary, here is a good resource for breaking down statistics of assault in the LGBTQIA+ community). Rape and sexual assault are not uncommon — and it is integral that we understand that. Every two minutes, a person experiences some form of sexual assault.
In better understanding Kesha's situation, we need to dispel and parse out rape myths and how to counter them with solid information.
The revolting concept of someone "asking for it" falls under the rape myth category (a rape myth is something used to dismiss the seriousness of claims of sexual assault — an instrument in promoting rape culture and ignoring the damage sexual assault does. It is also a tool of victim-blaming, which removes the assailant from the picture and reassigns responsibility of someone else's actions to the victim). In actuality, 71 percent of rapes are planned in advance. It is not a "crime of passion," assault does not happen in the moment. It is something that is calculated and used as an instrument of power and control. To boot, 60 percent of rapists are married or have regular sexual partners (Dr. Luke, for example).
The idea that people "cry rape" is also a myth. About 70 percent to 80 percent of attackers are already known to their victims in some way. Less than 20 percent of assailants are previously unknown to victims. According to the FBI, less than 2 percent of sexual assault allegations are false, despite claims that Kesha is lying or doing all of this for attention. It takes an incredible amount of strength to do what Kesha is doing, partially for that reason in the first place — the fear that no one will believe you or take you seriously.
It is no wonder that only 16 percent of rapes are reported. In the United States, rape is the most under-reported crime. Due to perpetuated ideas that women just want attention or are making it up, there is more anxiety involved in reporting a case of assault. The fear and reluctance also stems from emotional and metal reactions to assault, such as shame and humiliation. Survivors are three times more likely to suffer from depression, six times more likely to suffer from PTSD, four times more likely to contemplate suicide, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol and 26 times more likely to abuse drugs. The blatant disregard for these symptoms is astonishing, especially when considering Kesha's case and the way her request was brushed off. Her health and safety suddenly became less important than Dr. Luke's profit — a sickening idea.
Rape is also seriously under-reported because it is not properly nor actively prosecuted. Of those formally accused, less than 20 percent of assailants are imprisoned, and 98 percent of rapists will never spend a day in prison.
Many people are claiming that Kesha should have known what she was getting into what Dr. Luke coerced her into agreeing to a one-sided contract when she was only 18 years old. But that in itself is victim blaming. People who are unfamiliar with the music industry, especially the male-dominated sphere, should not have to shoulder the burden of other people's disgusting actions. This is where it is necessary that we understand what consent is.
Consent is a clear, coherent, willing, and ongoing yes. This means that there are no mixed signals involved, that every party is willing to engage in what has been proposed. This means that no party is drunk, high, drugged, inebriated, etc., that they are in a coherent state of mind and can actively form their on decisions. This means that a "yes" is not forced or coerced, that no one is bullied into engaging. This means that even if a relationship has been established, a "yes" is always necessary. Consent cannot be given through body language or appearance, previous sexual activity or relationship status, marriage, silence (XYZ person "didn't say 'no'"), being drunk or intoxicated (this is mandated by law [consider Kesha's case]), or power and status (again, consider the role Dr. Luke had in Kesha's career, though he hardly deserves credit for her achievements).
The question becomes: what can we do to help?
Get educated on rape culture and this epidemic, and show support, but not pity, for Kesha as well as all victims of sexual assault and rape.
In reiterating the definition of consent, should someone confide in you about a sexual assault, reassure them that you believe them. Do not question their situation or their role in it, and do not force them to do something they are not comfortable with, such as reporting the assault immediately or going to the police. Encouraging them to report is one thing, though, as well as encouraging seeking medical attention.
Should someone want to go to a crisis center, it is helpful to avoid showering right after the assault so evidence can be collected.
Be reliable. Be supportive. Offer to go with someone should they want to report an assault or seek medical attention.
Review facts about assault and help to spread this invaluable information to others. No person can know too much about this issue, and it is so important for everyone to become better aware. (Here are some statistics on rape and sexual assault.)
Reassure victims that this is not their fault. Often times, victims feel shame and guilt, and while it is important to understand that this statement will not solve everything, it is important for people to remember.
Do not force the healing process. It takes time.
Volunteer at shelters and become informed on ones near you. Be aware of resources that you and others can use in these circumstances.
Donate. Donate to shelters, to causes, etc.
When discussing this issue, be cognizant of who is in the room. Judging by the aforementioned statistics, it is likely that someone could be recovering from a similar situation. Avoid language that is triggering or provide warning before using it.
Here are some more articles on ways to help a victim heal.
Kesha has all of my respect and admiration for courageously coming out to report what Dr. Luke has done. She has my support and love, and I am in awe of her strength in continuously reliving this. While her situation may be more public, though, it is important to remember that all victims of assault are brave as well. Remember to practice self-care, and remember the importance of understanding the realities of this culture.
