Kelly Clarkson songs are my most recent guilty pleasure. I've always been a sucker for those powerful breakup songs that make you cry and laugh and feel all the emotions. But the thing is, I've never been through a true heartbreak. The only hard breakup I've been through was the one with my eating disorder when I finally chose to accept recovery into my life. But, surprisingly enough, all of the power ballads and pop anthems still feel like they apply to me. And one of the most iconic authors of those hits are the one and only Kelly Clarkson.
So today, I'm going to walk you through a journey of eating disorder recovery sound-tracked by Kelly Clarkson songs:
1. Before recovery, when you're still holding on to your eating disorder
"Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you"
2. Realizing you have to let go
"We were always meant to say goodbye
Even without fists held high, yeah
Never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die"
3. Letting go and starting recovery
"I'll spread my wings, and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway"
4. Talking back to your eating disorder
"Oh you think that you know me, know me
That's why I'm leaving you lonely, lonely
'Cause baby you don't know a thing about me
You don't know a thing about me
You ain't got the right to tell me
When and where to go, no right to tell me
Acting like you own me lately
Yeah baby you don't know a thing about me"
5. Making friends in treatment
"We are all misfits living in a world on fire
Sing it for the people like us, the people like usHey, this is not a funeral
It's a revolution, after all your tears have turned to rage
Just wait, everything will be okay
Even when you're feeling like it's going down in flamesOh, people like us we've gotta stick together
Keep your head up nothing lasts forever"
6. Conquering a fear food
"Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this
Some people search forever for that one special kiss
Oh, I can't believe its happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this
Everything changes, but beauty remains
Something so tender I can't explain"
7. Fear of relapse
"I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing I wanna get it right
No comparing
Second guessing
No, not this time"
8. Relapse :(
"Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside"
9. The comeback!
"Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so so simple now
You helped me see
The beauty in everything
Catching my breath, letting it go"
10. Living and thriving in recovery
"Here's the thing
We started out friends
It was cool, but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah
Since you been gone
You're dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah, yeah
Since you been goneAnd all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time"
11. Finding your strength again
"You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller"
12. Recovered <3
"I feel freedom where I stand now
And I feel proud from who I am now
Yeah, I learned a lot along the way
I love the woman that I became
I was patient, but not anymore
He's back in my hands
And you swore I'll never do it
But it's your turn to face the music
It used to bother me
Thought I could never leave?
After all that I've been through, nothin' left to prove
No, no, no, I don't think about you
Weighin' down on me
I lost my sanity
And now that we are through
Nothin' left to lose
No, no, no, I don't think about you"
Yes, Kelly Clarkson has some straight recovery BOPS in her discography, and these aren't even all of them (see Heartbeat Song and Walk Away). However, these shouldn't be mistaken for saying that she's experienced an eating disorder. In fact, Clarkson has a pretty bad history of promoting diet culture and associating thinness with happiness and health. But that shouldn't stop us from jamming to her songs throughout recovery.
