Yes, you read that title correctly. In this day and age, we are brainwashed from the moment we enter elementary school that there is something wrong with you if you aren't popular. This makes us do stupid things that we normally wouldn't do in order for people to think we are cool. Why do we always seek the approval of others?
I am not saying it is bad if you have a lot of friends.
In fact, kudos to you if you have a lot of friends and are extremely popular because that's hard to pull off. If you are one of the lucky ones that has a lot of friends, make sure they are dependable friends instead of just "friends." You know these so-called "friends." Everyone has had at least one of these "friends" in their lifetime and they know for a fact these people tend to only stay in the friendship when it is convenient for them. Like any relationship, they require effort by both parties for it to work so if one isn't putting the effort in that's usually a sign they aren't in it for the long haul.
The saying is true, the older you get in life, you learn from the mistakes you made when you were younger. I'm 20 now (and for the most part still have no idea what I am doing in life) but I look back to when I was 13-18 and cared about having a lot of friends. I got so stuck on increasing my number of friends and having everyone like me that I blinded myself from the fact that a lot of them used me for the things I could give them.
I would buy my friend's lunch, take them to sporting events, help them with homework, support them when they were down and invite them to concerts, but when I needed a favor in return, I was faced with the cold hard truth that these "friendships" were convenient friendships. I also learned that these so-called "friends" of mine had accused me of things I never did and would get mad if I stood up for myself.
It wasn't until one of my best friends (to this day I might add) asked me one simple question: "Who are you?" She asked me this because she said I was no longer the person she knew who was genuine, brave, independent and happy. Instead, she said I was completely different, trying to be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be. As a people pleaser, I tend to get lost in my friendships sometimes because I want everyone to like me; I try to maintain a perfect image and put in a lot of effort to make the friendship perfect.
This gets old fast!
Believe me, as someone who has had many friends and no friends at all, having just three really good friends is all you need. They are the friends who will come over at 2 a.m. to comfort you, they text you every day to check in on you, you know their family and love them all, you can trust them with your life and they will follow through, and they will stand by your side when you feel like no one else will. These are the rare gems in the world and these are the people you need in your life. They push you to become a better person and remind you that the world isn't as shitty as you may think. You really only need four quarters instead of one hundred pennies. Love these friends fiercely because in today's world, it's hard to find people who care about anyone except themselves.
