And while I would never consider myself someone who is good about keeping in touch, I have somehow managed to keep a small handful of friendships alive for over 15 years. After four years living less than ten minutes from some of my closest friends, transitioning to working life makes all of my friendships feel most distant than I’m used to, and with all of the people that have moved away from me, a large majority of my closest friends are long distance friends, across different time zones and in different countries. So while the term “keep in touch” used to strike real fear into my heart, I’ve come into some strategies that make it a little less intimidating.
- Do it now. Make it a habit to reach out to the people you are thinking of when you’re thinking of them! If you’re nervous about continuing or restarting a friendship, frequency of contact takes off some of the pressure! Regular snap chats, photos, or life updates can add meaning to longer conversations and make them more likely to happen.
- Send them something they can respond to. Send an article and ask for an opinion! Offer a movie recommendation or recipe. Asking a pointed question gives someone a simple way to keep the conversation going and can segway into great stories and anecdotes that help you get to know the person better.
- Ask the questions you want the answers to. This is my life motto in general, but it's especially relevant here: skip the small talk and get to the things that really matter to you. It might just be that your friendship doesn’t work if you have no
- Find the communication style that works into your lifestyle best. E-mail, texting, facebook, snail mail. Long rambling talks about nothing, or short burst of intense conversations. The point is to have a good time with someone you care about, there is not right or wrong way to do it.
- Pick up the phone. Voice is strongly connected to emotional closeness, and can unlock a lot of memories. If the awkwardness of speaking on the phone outweighs the benefits of improved emotional closeness, skip it and try video messaging!
- Keep them updated on the latest characters. When you’re in a new place, you’re not only doing new things, but you’re meeting new people as well. Spend a little time fleshing out the common cast of characters you’re bumping into lately to give your stories more color and helps people better understand what your new life is like!
- Keep up your social media. Honestly, it’s exciting for me when you post big life events on social media, not obnoxious, and it’s a great way for people to catch up with you without you having to do the heavy lifting of texting people individually.
- Make the visit. Even if it’s brief, my best friends from high school and I had such an easier time connecting when we could be in the same physical space at least once a year. You won’t have time to keep up with all the people you want to, but when trying to decide between making the extra effort to connect, it’s usually worth it.
