As someone who personally JUST went through a break-up, here’s a list of things that you’ll be tempted to do, but shouldn’t. And a list of things that will help improve your move and make moving on easier and quicker!

1. Listen to sad songs.

As oddly comforting as they seem to be, sad songs just keep us locked in a box. Instead, listen to some hood rap, Nicki Minaj, and some Beyoncé and realize its their loss, girl. Because, guess what? It is. They lost out on a fine ass bitch, and they don’t deserve the love you have to give.

2. Eat excessively.

Don’t get me wrong, sitting down with a pint of ice cream and a bag of potato chips seems like the life. But, shortly after that you’ll just feel more gross and upset. Go out to eat with friends, visit your local coffee shop, or just use portion control while you binge watch a new series.

3. Lay down all day.

When you’re down in the dumps and thinking about the asshole that left you, laying down in bed seems to be the best option. However, this is just another thing that will make you feel worse. Get up, read, go on a walk, do your makeup just to take a bomb selfie, catch some Pokemon, do some squats, go shopping (retail therapy is REAL).

4. Immediately look for someone new.

In the moment of despair over a break-up, it’s easy to look for comfort in someone new. This will not help matters, and will not actually make you happier. It is absolutely necessary to take time for yourself and to be single. Remember, you are your own person before you are anyone else’s. You have to learn to live for your own happiness without anyone else there.

5. Lay by the phone.

DO NOT wait and hope for them to message/call you. They made the mistake of leaving you; it is 100% their loss. Even if they do message you, don’t give them the satisfaction of responded within minutes. That lets them know that you’re not fine without them, and for some people, this inflates the ego. Go out, put the phone down, let loose. You deserve time to be free, single, and most of all, happy!

6. Ignore those trying to help.

It feels like nobody understands, and even if they do, you just don’t want to talk. But, being alone with your thoughts can be dangerous. Talk to those who hold out their hand to help. They actually care about you, and a small rant session about your ex can be therapeutic.

7. Bottle in your feelings.

To put it simply, TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. It is extremely harmful to keep your feelings bottled up. Go to someone you know will listen, and SPILL THOSE BEANS GIRL. All of them. It is okay to rant, and it will speed up the moving-on process. Also, don’t feel bad about crying. CRY BITCH, CRY. You’ll feel much better after, guaranteed.

8. Let go of yourself.

Basically, don’t stop being active and eating fast food meals every night. Don’t stop taking care of yourself. You deserve self-care. You deserve to put on that sexy black dress, that deep red lipstick, and to go out and have a great time and enjoy being single.

9. Put walls up.

You shouldn’t be looking for another relationship right away, but don’t shut yourself out from a new person who wants to be a part of your life. Let’s face it, life is full of heartbreaks, and even though it’s scary, falling in love is amazing. Let go of fear and enjoy love for the amazing thing it is. Worrying doesn’t help. Even if the relationship doesn’t last, have fun while you can! Make memories, and even if things come to an end, those memories will always be great, even if the person turned out to be an ass.

10. Self-hate.

It’s easy to ask yourself why you weren’t good enough. But girl, let me just tell you, you slay. You’re beautiful and you deserve to love yourself. Just because somebody didn’t see how amazing you are, doesn’t mean you should see less in yourself. Stay confident, and keep slaying.