Have you ever been told that you are annoying? Or that the content you post on the internet is cringe worthy? If you haven't, I'll let you know it isn't the most flattering thing. My mind thrives in circumstances of agony or profound emotional experiences, and taking these vulnerable moments into something poetic. Words. Photography. Editing. Poetry. Instagram. Fashion. Interior design. Scrap booking and collage creating. These are the products of genuine feelings, and they show who I am in a physical and visual way.
Anyone who puts their heart into creating something that means a lot to them can be considered an artist, even if that means writing your own melodramatic quote underneath a landscape shot with a filter smacked on top. It doesn't matter. Your angst, wanderlust, dreams, hopes, and sorrows are all important -- and if you decide to captivate that on social media, in a scrapbook, through painting, singing, writing, that is all OK too. An attack on someone's passion to use what they go through and experience to explore outlets of creative expression is a very personal thing for anyone who is subject to it. To anyone else who may have been put down by someone else for having artistic freedom I hope that this resonates with you.
Like most young adults, I struggle with some self-esteem issues. Some of these internal problems have stemmed from the struggle I've had identifying and accepting my sexual orientation and gender identity, not feeling comfortable with my body image or ability to perform academically or socially, and traumatic events that I hold vivid memories of. Every hardship I face influences how I perceive what is going on around me in present day. Something as simple as writing a poem about my thoughts and experiences, and then creating it into something beautiful and intriguing to the human-eye helps me to cope with my struggles, and actually learn to appreciate them too. Though sometimes dark and cold art can feel uncomfortable for some people, it appears to be the most relevant, profound, and alluring to others.
Personally, I am a melodramatic, and I have decided to transform my valid, though petty and hopeless, thoughts and feelings into something enjoyable to myself and others, if they can handle the "cringey and annoying" aspects of my self expression, that is. This term of endearment can be devastating, or hilarious because it is just that funny that someone who you mistakenly thought of as caring could try and degrade something you are passionate about (direct shade at a past not so significant other). In fact, I thank this kind jester for his comedic entertainment and inspiration of one of my new favorite phrases/hashtags/movements if you will; #KeepItCringey. Which by the way, cringey is not an actual word so it's all the more satirical.
I chose to not let harsh words break down my love for writing and displaying poetic perspectives onto photography and social platforms. Instead, I incorporate the respected fellow's, who is currently blocked on all social media platforms, kind words into my creations.
Adventuring out on a day trip with a friend or two is a great way to make some memories, memories in which you can capture through the art of photography. We all take photos so we can capture an actual moment digitally, and potentially physically if printed out. It doesn't matter whether an excursion involves exploring a new setting or revisiting your favorite restaurant. Don't you think it sounds fun to spoil yourself at one of your favorite self-care spots, and then be able to look back at the day you rewarded yourself? Wouldn't you like to preserve the immediate awe of being served one of your favorite dishes? Or maybe make peace with the heavy thoughts that the view of the undertow arises when walking along the beach? You can capture all scenarios, they are equally as significant and picturesque.
Another thing I would like to quickly address is the idea of traditional "attractiveness" or "favorable" forms of artistic masterpieces. I put my heart into the process of writing in making poetry or original quotes, I spend time and effort into editing photos for the visual I want to portray, and I have strategic tactics for posting and engaging with the communities I most commonly interact with on the internet. I'm not just some Romeo who wants to talk about his problems and get some attention for it. This is a process, and I love every second of it. It is a hobby and a passion, and although I loved hearing I can be inspirational or uplifting to some, the purpose of these posts are for myself.
Just because the topics I choose to write about are often times raw and melancholy, does not mean they do not also embody a prepossessing nature. Sadness is not something to be ashamed of, it exists in everyone. In my opinion, being transparent with the way you feel is a scary thing, and stepping out of your comfort zone to invite the world to see what sorts of things go on in your head is a very poetic idea. Also... creepy can be cute, ominous is not bad -- it's curious, and vulnerable is not attention seeking or whiny, it's open and inviting. Cognitions are beautiful things, and that is what provokes my ambition to exercise and dress up each of the visions that stand out to me.
When you combine a clear sunset, an iPhone with at least 4% battery, and a drive to share your imagination with others, you can body expertise that reinforces and validates you in a way you never thought possible. Social outlets like Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, are only but a few platforms on which you can spread your creativity and deep observations of yourself and the world surrounding you. I take pride in the things that I write and think, and that is huge for me, because I never recognize my positive attributes and capability to succeed. Though my thoughts and perceptions have caused me a great deal of turmoil (and will continue to) I have invited a way to turn these unsettling or ambiguous entities into something I can do to build mastery.
I may not be the best drawer, painter, musician, song writer or performer, but I can certainly manage accounts, edit photos and appreciate aesthetics. Even if I'm wrong and the content I create is annoying and disturbing, it serves me a purpose that some people may not be able to understand -- and that's OK, because the idea that it is satisfying for me alone is enough. Are you cringing yet? If not, feel free to visit my Instagram account (@whosalecanyways) or Snapchat (xalec147x) for more artsy fartsy photos and edits by the cringyest of them all.
