Emotional vampires. At some point or another, we’ve all been a victim of one and if you haven’t, then you might want to take a look in the mirror because it could be you. Emotional vampires are people who drain you emotionally. Talking to them, and sometimes even being around them tends to leave you tired and feeling weak afterwards. They are always involved in drama, they always have a problem that they need your help with or advice on, and they always, always, always, come running to you when things don’t work out for them.
Every emotional vampire isn’t a horrible person. They might be dealing with a lot of different things from stress, to abuse, to even a mental illness. However, that doesn’t change their status as an emotional vampire, it only changes your approach to fixing the situation and saving yourself from being bled dry.
One of the first steps you must take to remove an emotional vampire from your life, is to identify them. Unfortunately, sometimes they can take the form of someone that cannot be easily removed from your life, like a parent, sibling, or family member. In that case…you might want to see part two if this article because that is definitely a harder situation and I didn’t plan for it. Moving on, you’ll notice that after you talk with this person, you’re left feeling drained. You might become agitated, upset, or even emotional yourself. They constantly need attention, they tend to not take responsibility for their actions and there is also a possibility that they feel like the world is always against them. If talking to your best friend leaves you literally physically exhausted, there is a chance that are they are an emotional vampire.
Once you have identified this person, the easiest thing to do would be to talk just to them about it. Now from personal experience, (being a victim of one and also having been one myself at times) doing this is not as easy as it seems. Explaining to them that you do not have all of the answers and talking to them has become a more negative experience than positive, is going to hurt. There is no easy way around it.
Now you might be lucky and find that they’re completely understanding and your relationship with them won’t be damaged in any way. However, there is a pretty good chance that you will end up hurting their feelings which sucks, but it is okay. They are going to feel offended, they are going to feel like it is your job as their friend to put with them. They will feel that you are being insensitive and that you do not care about them, but hopefully none of those things are true. You have to explain to them that even though they do not mean to, they are hurting you and making it hard for you to maintain a healthy relationship with them. Your mental and emotional health is just as important.
If you have some specific details about their situation (and if they are an emotional vampire then you probably do) you can even suggest some people, like a confidential figure such as a counselor, that they can talk to. You can go with them to the doctor’s office to get tested, or you can support them as they try to leave their abusive relationship. It is best to try to help them find another avenue of solving their problems instead of putting all of the pressure and responsibility on you. The most important thing to say is that you are not leaving them, but you are only helping them utilize other options.
It can be really tough to deal with an emotional vampire. Sometimes trying to resolve the situation might end in a fight or end with losing a friendship. But the important thing is taking care of yourself. Of course, you want to be there for your friends and family, but once it begins to take a toll on you, you have to take a step back and think about whether or not you need to remove yourself from an unhealthy situation.
