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5 Reasons Brett Kavanaugh Shouldn't Get To Be On The Supreme Court

Why Congress needs to put "the Carpool Dad's" nomination in park.

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5 Reasons Brett Kavanaugh Shouldn't Get To Be On The Supreme Court
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In This Article:

Kavanaugh's confirmation hearing is set for this Thursday. Here's what you should know..

Conservative partisanship.

He drones when you are sleeping, he schemes when you're awake, he knows if you vote R or D, so don't vote or you he'll seek. -an ancient legend that tells of the coming of the Turtle Man

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Trump is getting to put a second conservative on the Supreme Court, which will make the bench 5-4 for the Republicans. Politicians care about nothing more than being able to pick Supreme Court Justices and this is clear from the way that Republicans have been acting in the confirmation meetings so far. They have asked inane questions, like, "why do you write with a Sharpie," rather than, y'know, stuff about the job. They have also broken the precedent they set when they refused to let Obama nominate a Justice just before an election, which was already so blatantly partisan and gross that I refuse to call Mitch McConnell anything other than Sleazeball McTurtle.

Mitch McConnell | by Gage Skidmore By day, he's a mild-mannered (although slimy) Senate Majority Leader, but by night, he patrols the DC Reflecting Pool, luring in unsuspecting passersby with promises of tax cuts.

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Now, one would think that these seasoned veterans of the public eye would know how to handle this confirmation with tact and not come off like evil bloated jagoffs. Instead, with all the grace of a squirrel bouncing off the hood of a car, they have decided to make every obvious power grab and hide information from their opponents. They even went so far as to send 42,000 pages on Kavanaugh's service during the Bush administration to the Senate Judiciary Committee hours before his nomination hearings started.

Okay, but to be fair, they do make their skullduggery look better than this.

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A white supremacist or a troll or nothing?

Explain to me how this isn't Ted Cruz.

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Kavanaugh's former law clerk, Zina Bash, either intentionally or unintentionally made the hand sign for "White Power" twice while she sat behind him. Admittedly, that hand sign is the exact same as the one for "OK," so it's possible that she was telling someone off-screen something, but considering she also made the hand-sign a second time with her arms folded, it's more likely that she was telling them where the next Klan meeting was. I'm kidding, of course, as she probably was using the hand sign to mock people on the Left, which is what it was designed to do. Many would say that I'm reading too far into this but tell me when was the last time your thumb and pointer finger made a perfect circle on your forearm and your middle and ring were all splayed out like they got hit by an acute case of rigor mortis? When has that happened while you were at rest and your arms were crossed? Literally never maybe. It definitely might have been something, possibly.

Refuses to answer questions.

Tina Fey, seen here flashing the White Power sign for, "Do you have any lip balm, my Aryan Brother?"

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Kavanaugh has refused to answer questions multiple times. Sometimes that makes sense, like if a Senator asks you, "What are you wearing?" you kindly respond, "A wire," and get the heck out of there. However, when they ask you something like, "Do you believe a President can Pardon himself?" and "Can a President ignore a subpoena?" and the President who nominated you is considering doing both of those things, you can't answer with "I don't really feel like it." I mean, it's why you're there, dude. I don't know what you were expecting other than answering hypothetical questions about the law and questions about your past.

Almost perjury, but not quite.

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He lied under oath at least twice but neither case was severe enough to amount to perjury. He lied about working on the nomination of Judge William Pryor as well as about receiving stolen Democratic documents. In both cases, it seemed that he simply forgot about something or had misunderstood the situation at the time. If only he had lied like Trump does when he tells himself that he doesn't have sexual thoughts about his own daughter.

Which is what he's gonna do because TRUMP HAS SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT HIS DAUGHTER.

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Oh right, everything he stands for.

Seen here before the advent of HD Cameras and just after the invention of the flag pin.

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It's hard to remember that most liberals and a fair few independents are going to dislike Kavanaugh simply because they disagree with him. Being a conservative isn't illegal and it isn't even a bad thing but taking the opportunity to push your agenda forward by disrespecting the will of the people is despicable. The Curdled Turtle in Command should be ashamed but unfortunately he had his ability to feel shame removed to make room for more neck folds. And as for Kavanaugh, he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the Supreme Court until he gets there legitimately.

Call your representatives.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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