(Note: I refer to Kanye West as both "Kanye" and "Yeezus" in different places in this article so as not to sound repetitive. Also, it cracks me up.)

Personally, I've always found Kanye West's wild celebrity persona ironically hilarious, with my enjoyment of his music independent of any perception I have of the man himself. Kanye might think he's a literal genius, or perhaps the media is just misinterpreting his words, or maybe he's just acting crazy for the LOLz. At this point, his motivations bear no effect on the way I enjoy his music, as nothing could ever tarnish the pleasure I find in '808s and Heartbreak.'

Kanye's latest musical endeavor, however, has only exacerbated recent debates about his sanity, even questioning the merit of the work he's put out so far. "Lift Yourself" reveals a whole new side of the artist, one that apparently doesn't know how to write music. Here's the in-depth analysis of Kanye West's new song you didn't know you needed:

The track begins with some surprisingly catchy sampling, not unlike the opening moments of any of Kanye's past songs. It sounds like a sound byte of an old preachy song, encouraging me to "strive for more liberty" and to "lift [myself] up on [my] feet." The sheer length of this sample, however, spanning a full fifty seconds without any vocals from Yeezus himself, undoubtedly raises some suspicion in my mind. After all, it's typical for a diversified artist like Childish Gambino to release an instrumental track, but for Kanye? What's the point of a Yeezus song if not to hear him spit some sick bars?

At the fifty-one-and-a-half second mark, we finally get an electronic beat under the same sample of music. It's a simple beat that sounds like it was stitched together by an artist on SoundCloud, but it makes you want to bop your head nonetheless. As the music ramps up, the new beat only adds to the anticipation Kanye's been building up. Then, the sampled music suddenly disappears and leaves the techno beat by its lonesome for about thirty seconds, as if to prepare listeners for the dope rhymes to come.

Then, finally... the sample kicks back up again. Gosh dang it, Kanye! It's over a minute and a half into the song, and I'm starting to think you forgot you were recording. What happened to "Harder, better, faster, stronger" Kanye? How ironic is it that he's gone the entire song speechless when we can't even get Kanye to shut up in real life?

But, then, with no more than a sliver of hope remaining in my impatient heart, we finally hear Yeezus himself speaking (notably not rapping): "But they don't really realize, though."

'What don't we realize, Kanye?' I think. He provides no response, but he does go on to enthusiastically hype up his next verse, when he says "This next verse, though. This next verse! These bars!" Oh boy, oh man, I can't wait to hear what genius Kanye's cooked up for us today! It'll be worth the wait!

Then, it comes. Actually this time. In case you haven't heard the song or have somehow forgotten what they sound like, here's his verse:

"Poopy-di scoop
Scoop-diddy-whoop
Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop
Poop-di-scoopty
Scoopty-whoop
Whoopity-scoop, whoop-poop
Poop-diddy, whoop-scoop
Poop, poop
Scoop-diddy-whoop
Whoop-diddy-scoop
Whoop-diddy-scoop, poop"

Whether or not Kanye's trolling, "Lift Yourself" has solidified itself as the single best piece of music I've ever heard. Haters might present certain arguments such as "He barely says anything!" and "Did I really just hear him say 'Scoop-diddy-whoop'?"

Both points are valid, but I'd like to provide a counterargument: "Haters gonna hate!"

To sum up how I feel about this amazing song, I'd like to recite a fantastic quote from our president: "Thank you, Kanye! Very cool!"

(Additional Note: This is satire.)