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Kaitlyn Bristowe, You're Ruining It

Jul 01, 2015

Here's the deal, girl pearl; I was pulling for you. Britt is a cry baby and you are hilarious, so I thought your season of "The Bachelorette" would be flawlessly funny. But, you are ruining it.

Please stop keeping the weirdo Jared around. He's creepy, and there is absolutely no way he knew who this band was.

You are CLEARLY losing the best guy on the show. Shawn Booth came straight down from Heaven. Use your noggin, girl, and pick the man that shows you pictures of his family, not pictures of himself (cough, cough, Nick).

Since Nick has already been brought up, we might as well discuss how annoying, self-absorbed and horribly styled he is. Why didn't Nick want to get to know you better before the season started? Oh, that's easy! Because he loves hearing himself talk and watching his too tight, puke green jeans walk around the streets of Ireland.

If you've watched the past three episodes, you should be well aware of the fact that Kaitlyn is terrified of birds. And if you're anything like me, you're very confused as to why she would get two tattoos of hummingbirds on her arms.

Moral of the season -- don't trust Kaitlyn Bristowe. You are ruining it.

P.S. I love you Shawn B. When she leaves you for Nick, America will be here for you -- specifically, thousands of girls.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Here are just a few of those things.

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

3. Thank you for teaching me what real love feels like.

4. Thank you for always making sure I'm safe.

5. Thank you for going through things with me.

6. Thank you for teaching me to take care of myself.

7. Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel supported.

8. Thank you for always being there to back me up, even when you know I'm wrong.

9. Thank you for constantly pushing me to live up to my potential.

10. Lastly, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life.

It sucks, but you’ll make it through

1. Please just be seasonal allergies

2. I must not have gotten enough sleep last night

3. I’ll just take a little nap

4. Oh no, I have so much due tomorrow!

5. I’m fine, I’ll just sleep it off

6. Do I have to be responsible today?

7. Ugh no, I can’t actually be sick

8. Alright, I’ll take some medicine and I’ll be fine

9. This is the worst day of my life

10. Mom?

11. She was right (like always)

12. Too bad you're busy and can’t take the day off tomorrow

13. You think about taking the day off, but realize you have like three tests

14. You think you're actually going to be sick forever

15. Finally, you're better!

Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

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