Justin Bieber: How To Cure Your Conjunctivitis, From An Ex Pre-Med Major. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Justin Bieber: How To Cure Your Conjunctivitis, From An Ex Pre-Med Major.

I don't know what I'm talking about, by the way.

Gabby Dance
May 22, 2017
Auburn University
179
Justin Bieber: How To Cure Your Conjunctivitis, From An Ex Pre-Med Major.

Justin Bieber took to Instagram this past Saturday to make it clear to us all that he has conjunctivitis.

My left eye has conjunctivitis
A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

Like, he really wants us all to know, guys.

My left eye has conjunctivitis
A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on


You can see it better here
A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on


Conjunctivitis
A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on


After seeing these posts, I knew that my duty as a Belieber was to help cure this poor man.

I, for one, will never ignore a cry for help. That medical terminology was hard for me to understand though, so I googled what exactly conjunctivitis is. According to my intense research, the Biebs has pink eye.

So, you've caught the real "Bieber fever". What now?

Well, luckily for you, Justin, I was a pre-med major for approximately 40 days and took one high level biology class. Therefore, I totally know what I'm doing. I also am a frequent visitor of Web MD.

First of all, take a break from learning other languages and babysitting Asahd Khaled, and get some rest.

A Bieber nap is essential to your healing. I know you're back on the rise right now, but you've got to make sure you're getting those eight hours, dude. Trust.

Ditch the contacts.

Luckily for you, glasses are super trendy right now. You can't be touching your eyes and putting in contacts if you want that conjunctivitis to go away.

Avoid using sprays and lotions that can get in your eyes.

I know, Someday was easily the defining fragrance of 2011, but you're going to have to take a break from it, and other similar spraying products, to cure that pink eye.

Don't hang out with any hot babes, in order to avoid spreading the disease to them (unless it's me).

I don't really mind, because I usually just sit at home anyway, but most people would probably get mad if you gave them pink eye.

Lastly, actually go see a doctor, because I don't know what I'm talking about.

Remember how I said I was only a pre-med major for 40 days? Yeah, don't trust me.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

6 Signs You Are An English Major

#EnglishMajorProbs

SMUM
796
6 Signs You Are An English Major

There are various stereotypes about college students, most of which revolve around the concept of your major. Unfortunately, we often let stereotypes precede our own judgments, and we take what information is immediately available to us rather than forming our own opinions after considerable reflection. If I got a dollar for every time my friends have made a joke about my major I could pay my tuition. One stereotype on campus is the sensitive, overly critical and rigid English major. Here are six telltale signs you are one of them.

Keep Reading...Show less
english major
Entertainment

27 Things 'The Office' Has Taught Us

"The Office" is a mockumentary based on everyday office life featuring love triangles, silly pranks and everything in between. It can get pretty crazy for just an average day at the office.

University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
2245
the office
http://www.ssninsider.com/

When you were little, your parents probably told you television makes your brain rot so you wouldn't watch it for twelve straight hours. However, I feel we can learn some pretty valuable stuff from television shows. "The Office," while a comedy, has some pretty teachable moments thrown in there. You may not know how to react in a situation where a co-worker does something crazy (like put your office supplies in jello) but thanks to "The Office," now you'll have an idea how to behave ifsomething like that should happen.

Here are just a few of the things that religious Office watchers can expect to learn.

Keep Reading...Show less
the office
Student Life

10 Signs You’re A Pre-Med Student

Ah, pre-med: home of the dead at heart.

Berkeley, California
1407
Grey's Anatomy
TV Guide

Being pre-med is quite a journey. It’s not easy juggling school work, extracurricular activities, volunteering, shadowing, research, and MCAT prep all at the same time. Ever heard of “pain is temporary, but GPA is forever?” Pre-meds don’t just embody that motto; we live and breathe it. Here are 10 symptoms you’re down with the pre-med student syndrome.

Keep Reading...Show less
med students
Entertainment

High School And College Sucked All Of The Fun Out Of Reading

Books were always about understanding for me, about learning the way someone else sees, about connection.

Rutgers University
1039
High School And College Sucked All Of The Fun Out Of Reading
Photo by Clementina Toso on Unsplash

I keep making this joke whenever the idea of books is brought up: "God, I wish I knew how to read." It runs parallel to another stupid phrase, as I watch my friends struggle through their calculus classes late at night in our floor lounge: "I hope this is the year that I learn to count." They're both truly idiotic expressions, but, when I consider the former, I sometimes wonder if there's some truth to it.

Keep Reading...Show less
books lit
Entertainment

One Book Made Me Question Existence In Its Entirety

A book by the name of "The Stranger."

The State University of New York at Stony Brook
318
One Book Made Me Question Existence In Its Entirety
Photo by Rey Seven on Unsplash

"The Stranger" by Albert Campus touches upon many heavy elements... but not in the way you expect. Although it touches upon the aspects of death and love, it also deals with a hidden philosophy similar to that of nihilism.

The story follows the short life events of Meursault, a Frenchman whose carelessness for his actions eventually ends him in jail and dependent on a jury of people to judge the ethicality of his decision and the punishment that he deserves. He eventually gets the death penalty and all throughout he is nonchalant and almost apathetic towards his situation. He finally snaps when the prison sends a priest to him to absolve him of his sins and to cajole him in confessing to the lord.

Keep Reading...Show less
book review

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments