Just a little introduction to myself first: I was born in China, but adopted at 8 months old. I've been raised in Alabama, and I have been there my whole life, so I consider it my home. My mom, who is the best mom I could ever have asked for, has always been so supportive and wonderful to me. Through the years, being raised in a predominately white community, I've received many odd or typical comments and questions about myself, and here are a few of them!
1.Doesn’t Asian hair shrink when it gets wet?
No, as a matter of fact it doesn’t. If my hair actually shrunk when it got wet, I think I’d be extremely bald, especially since it rains so much in Kentucky. I got this comment when I was relatively young, but I was still old enough to be extremely confused by it.
2. At least you were adopted so your feet weren’t bound!
While this is a positive thing, even if I hadn’t been adopted, I wouldn’t have had my feet bound because that was something done a while ago and no longer happens. It’s true that if I had lived sometime before the 21st century I might have had to deal with this issue, but since I’m a child of the 90s, thankfully, I never had to live through that.
3. What’s a bad grade for you, an A-?
I’m honored that some people think so highly of my intelligence, but I must admit that I rarely complain about an A-, especially in college.
4. You got a B-? Your ancestors must feel the shame!
I can’t begin to list the number of comments I’ve received based on my grades, but a B- has never been something that I’ve been too upset about. Also, unlike in Mulan, my “ancestors” don’t float around discussing me and feeling shame over my faults. If they did, I’m sure they’d be very disappointed in all of the Bs I’ve gotten throughout life.
5. Don’t you want to find your parents?
This is a question I have received hundreds of times. Yes I have always imagined finding my parents, but the reality of it is that it would be extremely difficult if not impossible. As curious as I might be, it would be a long and hard process, and extremely emotional to try to find my birth parents. I’m not fully sure if I would want to go through it, let alone succeed in the end.
6. Your family has been in this state for 3 generations? Really, that’s surprising!
When asked in a History class if our families had lived in my hometown for more than 2 generations, I raised my hand referring to my adopted family. This got me one huge confused look from my teacher, but I hadn’t thought about it as being odd since my adopted family is the only family I’ve ever known.
7. Of course you like Chinese food because you’re Chinese!!
Yeah I love Chinese food, but let’s be honest, American-Chinese food is not at all similar to authentic Chinese food. When I claim to like Chinese food, I’m always referring to the American, fatty, full of sugar version of Chinese food because who doesn’t love that stuff?
8. Are you even American?
Yes I am actually! I’m often asked if I’m a citizen of the US, and the answer is yes. When you’re adopted at 8 months old and brought to the US, you are given citizenship. No, I did not have to take a test or get a green card or anything since I was only 8 months old, and I wouldn’t have been able to take a test anyway.
9. You must have bad eyesight because you have Asian eyes!
Genetically, my poor eyesight probably does come from my Asian family history, but just because I have “Asian eyes” doesn’t mean I’m doomed to have poor eyesight. Instead, I’m just unlucky.
10. How come your eyes aren’t as squinty as other Asians?
I honestly can’t say. I’m not a specialist on genetic appearances. But it’s true that I don’t have the stereotypical epicanthic fold that many associate with an Asian’s eyes, instead I have the double eyelid like many others, which often confuses people.
11. Communist!
No I am not a communist. My last name, being Marx, is rather unfortunate, but just because I am Asian and my last name is Marx doesn’t make me a communist.
12. I was watching Tokyo Drift and thought of you.
I’m so happy that I was on your mind, but the country isn’t exactly correct. Many people mistaken me for Philipino, Japanese and even Hawaiian, but there is a geological, physical and ethnic difference between each race, and I am definitely not any of those.
13. Mulan!
I can’t tell you how many times I have received comments saying that I look like Mulan, or should be named Mulan, etc. Why do people always compare me to Mulan? When they see a red head they don’t call that person Merida? Or a Hawaiian person Lilo? At the very least, Mulan was an awesome character, so I can’t complain, but I don't see the resemblance!
14. Did your parents just not want you? Or did they already have a kid and couldn’t have you?
I honestly have no clue what my parents’ reasons were for giving me up for adoption. It’s a possibility that my parents had another child already and the one-child policy made them have to give me up, but there could have been any number of reasons for their decision.
15. Where are you from?
Whenever I’m asked this question, I have to sit for a minute and assess whether the person means my home or my country of origin. Often times I have that awkward moment after responding “Alabama,” where a person stares at me for a second then says “No, where are you from?” If you want to know my ethnicity, then I recommend simply asking, “What is your ethnicity,” so that we can both avoid the awkward moments and stares. Otherwise, I usually respond with “I’m from Alabama” because it is the only home I've known.
I’m sure other people of different ethnicities have received similar comments throughout their lives, I just thought I’d share some of the ones I have received. But either way, I am happy that I was adopted and brought to America. I’ve had a wonderful life so far, and I would never have wanted to give that up.
