My First Love,

The first thing that I should say is thank you.

Thank you for being there for me when I needed it most. For being the one I could always talk to no matter what time of the day it was.

Thank you for loving me even though you had to deal with a lot of issues of mine, as well as your own.

I may have said the words "I love you" to other guys before you, but I was never truly in love until I was with you.

I fell in love the first time we started talking. We didn't say "I love you" until a month after being on-and-off for weeks. Even when we weren't together, we would still say those words.

We shared laughs and memories together. We shared late nights cuddling and early morning texts. You'd play country music when we went to sleep because you knew it was comforting to me.

There were smiles and tears. There was heartbreak and love.

We tried to get back together so many times, but it just never worked. I never knew why we didn't try harder if we said we loved each other. I wish I could've changed it so we could get back together. But I can't.

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

I'm sorry you couldn't understand my unconditional love for you.

I'm sorry that I wasn't worth it enough for you.

You lied. You broke promises. You left me brokenhearted countless times. You have a reputation for being a cheater and a liar.

But despite all the lies, broken hearts, and tears, I still loved you.

I ignored what everyone was telling me. I ignored them telling me that you weren't worth it. That I deserve better.

I couldn't see it. I didn't think I was worthy enough to actually be treated right. That I shouldn't be respected. That I'll be loved again.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." -Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

At this point, I don't believe that I'll ever love someone as much as I love you, but that's okay. For now.

Maybe someday, some guy will come along and sweep me off my feet and treat me right. Treat me like you did when we first started dating. Maybe actually want to stick around without leaving despite all of the challenges.

But for now, it'll be OK. I'll be OK,

I love you.