When it comes to judging other people, we are experts. I can’t count how many times per day I hear the word “should” in reference to someone besides the speaker. “She shouldn’t wear Nike shorts and oversize t-shirts to class”, “you shouldn’t wear workout clothes outside the gym”, “you shouldn’t wear white after Labor Day”, “you shouldn’t dress up on a daily basis”. Where do these statements get us? Do we feel better about ourselves for telling other people how to live their lives? Do we honestly expect someone to change just because we told them they should? No. All we do is waste our breath and our time. It has no effect on me and my life if someone else decides to wear short shorts.

Think about how much time we dedicate to telling others what they should and should not do. Now think about how much more time we would have to do fun and productive things if we didn’t spend so much of our time worrying about what other people are doing. If you want to wear Nike shorts and an oversized T-shirt to class, do it. If you want to do your hair and makeup and dress up for class, do it. What you wear and how you decide to present yourself to the world has no effect on me. I will learn the same whether the person sitting next to me is wearing high heels or sneakers or flip flops. I would rather spend my time trying to make a positive difference in this world than telling other people how to live their life. So long as you are not hurting or obstructing me and my life, you do you.

I am not here trying to place blame for doing something that has become such a normalized thing in our society, but I am trying to make a change in myself and hopefully others. I once heard a saying that I try to remind myself of often: the first thought you have is what has been trained into you, but your second thought is what defines you as a person. I truly believe in this saying and I believe that staying mindful of our thoughts and making a conscious decision to make our second thought better than the first is how we grow as people.

It happens to the best of us where we catch ourselves judging other people and thinking about what they should or should not be doing. But if whenever we catch ourselves thinking these things and we remind ourselves that it has no impact on our lives or our happiness and we focus on letting others be happy, we make ourselves happier as well.

So to the girl who likes to wear Nike shorts and t-shirts, and the one who likes to dress up, you do you. If you feel confident in your appearance and you are happy with the way you look, I am happy for you because I refuse to waste any more of my time telling you what you should and shouldn’t wear.