In my study breaks, I usually check Facebook, scroll down my news feed to see what everyone is up to. I'm a huge fan of social media. I can even go as far as telling you that social media has a big role in shaping my personality. Reading different opinions, articles and analysis of events teaches me a lot. Today, while scrolling down my news feed, I came across one of the strangest posts ever. Unfortunately, it was in Arabic so I can't share the real post with you here. Besides, I don't know the woman who wrote it to ask her permission. After all, it's not the exact words that matter. It's the effect those few words left on me and those who read the post.
In her post, she said that she was having a surgery the following day. A surgery in which she'll have a part of her stomach removed due to a tumor and, according to the doctors, the percentage of success of the surgery is 20 percent. If it fails, she dies! She was asking everyone to forgive her, only remember her for the good she did in life and pray for her. Then, she ended it by saying "I wish I had time to say goodbye to all my loved ones, but I hope I'll meet you all in heaven."
This post left me with a lot of thoughts and what ifs. This is a woman who is one step away from death, she is asking for nothing but forgiveness. She knows when and how she's dying (possibly!) I wonder at this moment of life, what would she be thinking of? Heaven and Hell? Do they even exist? What will happen after I close my eyes in surgery? Does God really exist? Did I remember to pray the five prayers yesterday? (She's a Muslim woman.) When God asks me what I spent my life doing, what will I tell Him? How do I spend these few hours before surgery? Do I keep praying and ask for forgiveness? Or spend more time with my family? Do I apologize to my parents for all the pain I've given them in life? Yes, I definitely should. No, it will be harder on them than on me. I can't do this to them. Did he ever know how much I love him? Why did I wait? Why didn't I just tell him? My high school teacher, I wish I told him how much he changed my life that one day and made me choose the career I'm in now. Can God hear me now? If He can, He should probably know how angry I am that my life is ending so soon. I wanted to get married and have kids. I would have raised them to worship Him. No, I shouldn't be angry. He gave me many blessings that other people dream of. A second chance…Can I have a second chance?
I promise if I have a second chance to live, I’ll be a better person. I will try to maintain my composure when I’m angry in order not to hurt others with unkind words. I will stop screaming at my mom whenever she brings up marriage and commitment. After all, it’s me she cares about the most. I will never belittle my younger siblings when they do something wrong. Instead, I will teach them. I will apologize to the guy I broke his heart at college when I was so blinded and self-centered. I promise I will do more charity work. I promise I will be more selfless than selfish. And finally, I promise I’ll give more than I get. Just give me a second chance.
The thoughts above are the kind of thoughts that would probably haunt my mind if I were in her place. Probably, none of these questions came to her mind and she's thinking of completely different things. That Facebook post made me think about the privilege of waking up every day to a second chance to live. It made me consider the hypothetical question we jokingly ask each other: What would you do if this was your last day in life? This time, it's not a joke, though. It's for real... By the time you'll be reading this article, she'll have got out of surgery. Either to the grave, or to enjoy her second chance to live a life she was about to lose. I sincerely hope & pray for the latter, but it's all written, isn't it?
