I have struggled a lot with the rap of comparison in my life the past few years. I never really saw myself as good enough and was constantly stacking myself up against what other people were doing in their lives. This comparison created in me a version of myself I was not happy with. I was easily overcome with jealousy, envy, and fear of not being enough. The cage of comparison I had trapped myself in stole my joy, hardened my heart and started to destroy me. There came a moment, after a breakup, when I hit my breaking point. This point in my life became a turning point for a lot of things who have made me who I am today, but one of the biggest things I’ve learned is to let go of comparisons and love the life I have because it is enough.

When God became all that I had, I realized He was all that I would ever need and that the life He has given me is good enough and is incomparable to any other. When I faced my struggle with comparison head on, I began to bloom into someone I never thought I could be. I became me, and I loved me for all that I am, all that I’ve been through and all that God is creating me to be. And in that, I broke free from the trap I had boxed myself in and found a joy I have never experienced before. I want you to find that too. It is our human drive to naturally compete and compare with those around us. We are all familiar with the phrase, “Keeping up with the Jones.” How true is it, that we compare literally everything. From jobs to income, to clothes, to activities and hobbies, to beauty standards, education, lifestyles, the list goes on and on. Living a life of comparison I have recently discovered is a very dangerous way to live. It is, like I have called it, a trap and a cage that we willingly put ourselves in daily. I’ve been there. I use to pour my energy into comparing my life against others. Even against other people, I didn’t know who lived across the country from me. I never measured up. My looks never measured up.

My lifestyle never measured up. I found myself living in fear of not being enough. When you start comparing yourself to anyone, it illicit so many negative emotions and it just destroys you. I was constantly looking for ways that I didn’t measure up and tearing myself down because I wasn’t good enough. I let my negative thinking run my life and my thoughts told me I was not good enough. I was not smart enough, pretty enough, outgoing enough, fun enough, or important enough. This state of thinking was poison to my heart and my soul. Once you begin telling yourself these things you start to believe them. Once I believed I wasn’t enough, I became jealous and envious of those I was comparing myself too. I started wishing I was different, I was not happy with who I was or with what made me, me. It was all negative in my mind.

Overall, living in comparison made my heart bitter and stole my joy for life. I didn’t realize this was actually happening until God opened my eyes with a book I began reading. #Struggles by Craig Groeschel is a book written to discuss following Jesus in a selfie-centered world. I recommend the read. Anyway, there is a section of the book entitled, “Beyond Compare,” where Groeschel writes on how we can overcome this human drive to compare. Which holds a lot of truth, this drive to compare and compete is in our human nature. It is a part of our flesh and the world we are living in. “There is not win in comparison. We need to kill comparisons because they are more serious than most of us realize” (Groeschel). He goes on to quote James 3:14-16 to demonstrate the danger of comparison; “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from Heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice.” Here, James is not simply suggesting that it would be a good idea to be careful about envy he says, “With envy there is evil.” So how do we kill comparisons? Groeschel suggests a few good actions to take.

Eliminate the bad influences

Clean up your social media, social life and get rid of anything that makes you feel envious or you see yourself constantly in comparison with. Positive vibes only.

Celebrate success

Be able to celebrate the successful and joyous things that are happening for others. Rejoice with those who are rejoicing. Be happy for others and not compare their joys with the lack of yours.

Have Gratitude

“Envy is resenting God’s goodness in other people's lives and ignoring God’s goodness in your own life” (Groeschel). When we compare and start thinking we are not enough, essentially we are saying God’s creation and God’s goodness for us are not enough… ouch.

Lastly, and probably the most impactful way to kill comparison and to kill the negativity of envy and jealousy is to…

Be you. Love you. Just bloom.

It took me a while to figure this part of life out and a heartbreak to really pick myself up and reset. I got tired of putting myself down all the time and feeling sad and always thinking I wasn’t enough. I remember writing in my journal: April 7, 2016. I am enough. I wrote it in big bold letters and underneath a list of all the things I believe that I am. And so began my journey in finding myself and accepting who it was that I had found. But I didn’t do it alone. It wasn’t in myself where I found me. It was in Christ. God’s holds the ultimate definition of who you are and who you are meant to be and that is where I began looking. I am a child of God and after grasping onto that Identity the rest of who I am fell into place and I fell in love. I started to believe in God’s plan for my life and the specific purpose for each part of me that he had created. I came to the realization that I am enough and not to settle for or surround myself with anything that makes me feel less. God has created me in a way that cannot be compared to the life of another, and he has created you that way too. God’s hands formed us and the paths of our lives specifically and uniquely to be ours. We were not created for comparison or competition.

My advice going forward is to always search for your identity in Christ, there you will find contentment with who you are and who you are meant to be. Secondly, boldly, unapologetically, Be you to the fullest! I cannot express enough the joy I have found in loving who I am and not being afraid to share that with the world. I am free from the cage of comparison and it feels amazing to live life while loving me. After changing the negative thinking I use to have, I have been able to grow, flourish and bloom into a beautiful flower that when I look at it, still amazes me every day. Genuine happiness comes from within. It is so important to be able to love who you are, love your journey and never think you are not enough. I promise you, you are enough, you are worth it, and you can do it. Believe in who you are, own your path, and your story. It is unlike any other out there, so do not attempt to compare it with another person. Grow and bloom in your own way. Live boldly in the identity Christ has given you. Discovering who I am has been a journey in these past few years. I am finally learning what it means to be me and to love myself for who I am and who God has created me to be. I am living life being me, unapologetically, joyfully, thankfully, and vividly. My hope is that, by discovering this myself, it will also help you. Know that you are enough no matter where you are at or what your life story looks like. You are not meant to be compared with the lives of others. God has specifically created you and your individual story in a unique way that is beyond compare. Once you realize and accept yourself for who you are, the greatest joy for life awaits you. We are all flowers in the garden of God, each created beautifully and perfectly in our own way. Focus on your growth and boldly bloom in your own special way. Own it and love it. Be true to you.

“Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” (Galatians 6:4-5)

“And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you. That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.” (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12)

“Don’t act out of selfish ambition or be conceited. Instead, humbly think of others as being better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act.” (Psalm 37:5)

“Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” (1 Timothy 6:6-8)