As people get older and their live change they may not have the time, energy, or motivation to message or call you when you want to be messaged or called. To put it simply, that’s life.
I’ve never understood why people get so hurt about not always getting contacted. I get when you’re consistently contacting someone and they don’t get back to you. Or worse when you know they’ve seen your message and never message you. When you feel like they are blatantly ignoring you. Especially if this happens over a long period of time. The thing is you have to let them know you feel hurt. They can’t fix it if they don’t know what’s wrong. But like I said, I understand your feelings
What is difficult to understand are the people who don’t reach out enough themselves yet want you to contact them. That isn’t fair at all. It doesn’t make sense at all. And unless this is something your friendship is based on you shouldn’t expect it.
It might be because I’m one of those people that doesn’t always contact others. Yeah you may see me on social media but that’s basically all I use my phone for. I’ll send out feelers every now and again to make sure everything’s okay. I let it be known if I’m ever needed to message me. But I don’t contact people every day because I feel like it’s social. I do genuinely ask about the person but after it’s more free talking than anything else.
When I contact someone it’s to see how their life is going. The question is always what’s new? Because of this (and my tendency to be very chatty) I don’t message people often because new doesn’t happen very often in my life. My days follow the same basic routine for the most part. I don’t really do too much because I always second guess. To be honest I’m boring. So contacting you with a “What’s up?” isn’t really necessary for me. That doesn’t mean you can’t/shouldn’t initiate contact.
There’s also the “I don’t want to disturb them” factor. I don’t like to inconvenience anyone because I know how annoying it can be getting messaged when you want to take a nap. Or having a babbler call you on your way to work. If I don’t like it, I won’t do that to you. But that does not mean you can’t/shouldn’t initiate contact.
It doesn’t mean I won’t contact you at all. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean your absence hasn’t been noted. It just means I have life and you have life. If you want someone to talk to or if you feel like we don’t talk enough let me know. If not, I’ll just assume we’re where we left off because nothing bad came between us.
If you want to talk to someone the easiest way to make sure you talk to them is by contacting them first. As easy as it is for me to pick up my phone and text/call you, you surely can do the same.
Don’t expect me to reach out to you if you aren’t doing the same. To me we’re good. If we aren’t let me know and when you do say it with your chest.
