Just be patient.
Those are words that no one ever wants to hear. I feel like a lot of times we hear those words when we are just tired of being patient. I am going to get extremely vulnerable with you because I believe that God calls us to be vulnerable with each other.
I am right where you are. I have heard that phrase a million times: Just be patient. I have no idea where you are when you are reading this, but I can promise you that I’ve been there. It’s hard to fathom sometimes why God would allow us to feel this way. Why is it working out for everyone else, but just not me? I am writing this out of total understanding because I have spent many days asking God the same question. I am not here to promise you that God will give you a date within the next week. I know that is what you would rather hear right now—trust me, I really do know. I am here to promise you that you are not alone. You are where I am and where a ton other girls that I know are, also.
My first thing that I want to tell you is that it is not odd to feel the way that you do.
I know that for me it is so easy to feel upset with myself for wanting what I don’t have. Even when I am so deeply in love with God that my total focus is on him, I often find myself desiring to be with someone else—desiring to share that love with someone else. It is completely normal to want to be with someone. I have found myself many times doubting whether or not I am focusing on God enough when my heart is longing to be with a man. My sprit desires to be loved by the lord but my flesh desires to be loved by a man. It took a long time for me to realize that both of those desires are good.
God designed man to be with Him. He created Adam to walk alongside Him and to have a deep, personal relationship with Him. That is where our spiritual desires come from. After that, God created Eve because he wanted for Adam to have someone to worship God alongside. That is where our fleshly desires come from. In the same way that God created Eve for Adam, He has created someone for you. I feel like a lot of times we forget that Adam was already well established in his relationship with God before God put Eve in his life. I mean, he spent the first days of his life in total communication with God and only God. I’d say that made them very close.
That is the closest that anyone has ever been to God (excluding Jesus) because that was before sin entered the world and sin separates us from God. That means that he was exactly where he needed to be for God to put Eve in his life. God knows when the two of you will be ready to be together. He knows when you are ready to balance a relationship with both God and man. He is preparing both of you for that moment.
My second advice to give you is to continue to seek after the Lord even though He isn’t necessarily giving you what you desire right now.
Because one day, He will. I once had a friend quote "How I Met Your Mother" to me in a way that made me somehow see how amazing God was. I know—that makes no sense. She told me, “Remember that he is coming as fast as he can.” God has designed a man specifically for me, but God has no intentions on giving him to me until he is a man that can lead me and love me unconditionally. When God talks about his church, he often compares it to a bride because in the same way that God desires to be in a relationship with his church, a man desires to be in a relationship with his bride.
God knows that relationships between male and female are important. He designed us to in such a way that the two desire to be together. But in the same way that God loves his church, he desires to love us, also. He works every single day to show His love to His church. He also works every day to show His love to us. He desires a relationship with him. When my friend told me that quote a long time ago, she meant that in the man that I’m supposed to be with’s journey to find me, he is working on his relationship with God.
He is working on being a better man so that he can lead me and protect me in the way that a husband should—and in a way that God does. God is molding him into a man that shows me God’s unconditional love daily—And that is what he is doing for the man that he has specifically designed for you.
My last thing that I want to remind you of is that you are so loved and that you are so beautiful.
God is not keeping you from love because you have messed up or because he—the one who designed you—made you flawed. He is instead protecting you. God designed Adam and Eve specifically for each other. They were the first example of love in the Bible, and they were the first people that God created. They walked alongside God and they had the most personal relationship that anyone has ever had with God (besides Jesus), yet when sin came their way, they took it.
Relationships have so much potential to be an amazing thing, but they can also be negative in your walk with the Lord. God is strengthening you so that when the moments of trials come (which they will), you will find strength. When the foundation that you spent so long building becomes rocky (which it will), you will find safety. God is not keeping you from feeling loved—He is instead showing you the greatest love of all by drawing you close to him. Only the will you find the strength to make a relationship work.
I’m sorry that you have to wait. Like I said, I know what it is like. I am currently waiting, also. Many days I wonder what life would be like if God weren’t making me wait. I wonder what I would do if I were given a new set of cards or given a new life. In those moments of wonder, God reminds me of everything that I just tried to tell to you. I don’t know where you are, but I can promise you that God loves you so much. He desires to walk in close relationship with you, and He does not want to hurt you.
To sum up all that I just said, I just wanted to remind you that you are not alone. I said that earlier and I will say it again. It is okay to feel the way that you do. It is okay to wonder when life will change or when you will find the man of your dreams, but I just wanted to remind you that God is the only one who will ever satisfy your aching heart. We all have a Jesus shaped hole in our hearts and filling it with anything else but Him will leave us feeling empty. It won’t fit.
I promise you that no man will fill that hole in your heart, but we are lucky enough to have a God that makes room for love for a man in our heart. He created love and He desires for us to see his love through relationships. Don’t give up on God and don’t give up on His plans for you. Wait for the man that God created for you. Don’t give your heart away to someone who will abuse it. When God created you, He created you pure and right in his eyes. He saw you as beautiful, and He loved you with an everlasting love.
And right now, as you cry yourself to sleep at night because you don’t have the relationship that everyone else seems to have, remember that God is creating a man to fit into your heart. It could be tomorrow or it could be a few years from now, but He will send him to you as soon as He is finished preparing him—alone—to walk alongside you in life. Do not get discouraged and do not lose hope. He is coming—and he is coming as fast as he can.
