Dead batteries

Legend has it, if you try to stand it up on the positive end and it stays, it's good.

...And good batteries. Good luck trying to figure out which is which. 

Unfortunately, it is impossible to tell the difference between the two. You can't throw batteries in the trash, so what better way to dispose of them than to keep them in the junk drawer?

A key

You have no idea what it opens, but you keep it just in case.

Magnets

Why they're in the drawer and not on the fridge is beyond you, but that's where they'll stay. Maybe it's because it lost the magnetic piece, but you can't bring yourself to get rid of it?

Red, black, and/or blue pens

They bleed a little bit when you use them.

A roll of tape without the holder

You buy new scotch tape every holiday, and the plastic holder breaks. You keep the roll of tape, but buy a new one anyway.

A screwdriver

You have a toolbox in the basement, but you never know when a screwdriver might come in handy.

Old birthday cards

You have every card from every birthday that your grandma has given you. You just can't bring yourself to throw them out.

Rubber bands

Some of them are broken, some are retied, some are multicolored, you name it.

 Safety scissors

They're a little rusty, but they still cut when you need 'em to.

 Glue

Of the super, Elmer's, gorilla, and stick variety. If you're lucky you've got that opaque blue Elmer's glue.

 Sharpies that don't work

They're partially dried out, but you convince yourself you have to keep them for when you can't find a pen.

 Paper clips

They have desktop holders for these things, yet somehow they end up in the drawer anyway.

Thumbtacks

You can only find these sneaky little bastards when they poke you. If you're actually looking for them? Forget about it

 A ruler

Just in case you need to... you know, measure stuff?

Those pencils with the horrible erasers

You know, those shitty yellow ones that never sharpen right, with the horrible pink erasers that smudge whatever you're trying to do. Yes, you're bitter about it, but you keep them anyway.

 A bunch of useless stuff from the front glass case at the arcade

None of it works, but you might one day feel the urge to bounce that fluorescent orange bouncy ball that doesn't actually bounce right.

Plastic handheld pencil sharpener

It's for the shitty yellow pencils with the smudgy erasers.