For two years I had endured a brutal struggle with self-harm and suicide. I went to college while I was still battling my mental illness and fell on my face, hard. When I was there I met people who saved my life. Friends that I was so deeply blessed to have, that I know it was God ordained from the beginning. They helped me heal, helped me see the light when there appeared to be none, and encouraged me through it all. So to everyone who stuck by me, this is for you.
To the friend who was there for me when no one else was, thank you. You met me in the middle of the night when I couldn't help but cut- because I was new and afraid to tell people what was going on. You held me as I cried in the Forest Preserve. You walked through flooded creeks without your shoes to get to where I was hiding. You left class. You texted me to make sure I was safe. You reminded me that life had meaning, you encouraged me to fight like hell. You took on so much weight to try and protect me, to be there for me. It drove you crazy, but you stayed. I've never met someone as loyal as you, and I am still thankful for you to this day. We may not talk anymore, but I will always love that friend who helped carry me when I was weak. Your support held me up until I found my true strength in Jesus. I know things didn't end ideally between us, but it is well with my heart at last. I hope it is for you also. Thank you.
To the friends who came to see me in the hospital, wow do I love and miss you guys. Thank you for staying by my side when I was desperately sick and scared. I knew you didn't understand why I was doing the things that I was, but nonetheless, you stuck with me during my battles. You held me as I sobbed, you took me on long car rides to get off campus, you made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. You reminded me of my worth, my hope, and my faith. You showed me Jesus when I desperately needed fellowship. I will always remember and love all of you, and your kindness.
To my little peanut, dang do I miss you! Thank you for your encouragement when I was falling apart. Thank you for doing what was best for me, when you saved me that night in the prayer room. Thank you for holding my hand before the EMTs came. Thank you for letting me sleep in your room before choir tour and reading heart healing books to me. Thank you for the good talks, loud laughs, late nights, and friendship. I will always cherish you sweet friend.
To my professors, thank you for your leadership. Thank you for your understanding. Thank you for the long talks, confidence boosters, encouragement, hopeful words, Christ like love, freebies, and overwhelming support. For calling me when I was in the hospital and offering to bring me what I needed. For praying for me, with the class! Thank you for loving me and being such an amazing example of Jesus. I was so blessed by you guys, wow. I will never forget those moments we spent talking in your offices when I was hurting. I am still so amazed by you all.
To all the others who helped me through my trials, thank you. I love you all so much. Thank you for the hugs, long talks, late night, walks, runs, gym sessions, coffee dates, long car rides, trips to IKEA, showing me around Elgin, and just loving me endlessly. Thank you for your amazing words of hope and encouragement. Thank you for making me laugh again, for showing me how to love myself again. Thank you for not judging my struggle,but holding my hand through it. You all know who you are, and I wouldn't be the same without every single one of you. I love and miss you guys. Keep being amazing examples of Jesus. Through you, He proved Himself to me.
