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Why I Cannot Judge Others

Even Though You May Think Otherwise

17
Why I Cannot Judge Others
David Bergs

On a normal day, one can come into the vicinity of tens of thousands of people every day. In doing so, we see people of various colors, heights, sizes, personalities, and demeanor. They could be walking by you, on their bike, sitting on the ground with a sign, or on the other side of a window or wall. More often than not, it is likely that you have made a note in your head of what you saw about them, and quickly judged how they compared to you, and maybe if you liked them or not. With that in mind, you could one of two things: hold that information in mind to affect how you would interact with them (if, heaven forbid, the universe forced you to have to make a social exchange), or just forget about and not care about what you just saw of them.

Interestingly, I do the latter without fail, which evens confuses my friends, who always apologize for talking about one thing or another. Truthfully, I find myself fairly comfortable discussing just about everything, and hearing about life experiences from other people. Given a perfect world, I probably could be friends with anyone. Overall, when I pass by someone on the street, I do not even think to pass judgement on them.

Why?

Mainly, it all stems from the beautiful realization that we all have a uniqueness that no one else has. Even if you had the same upbringing as me, as in a sibling, the fact that you were born at a different time ultimately destroys that similarity, as . That said, I could neither fully understand the life you have lived up until this point, nor fathom with any certainty the situation in which you were raised that gave you your views and values on life. Even if you told me everything about you, I could only make assumptions about you that would more often than not be wrong. Sure, I remember what you tell me and refrain from talking about topics you do not like, but this will not change the fact that I respect you no matter how different you may think you are. I may not agree with you and tell you that, but that does not mean I will judge you for it. Your opinion is unique and just as viable as anyone else, and while I may not always agree, rest assured that they are accepted and will not change your connection with me.

Going back to that person on the street, often those few seconds that you saw them would not be enough to fully judge them anyways. A common saying is that the first thirty seconds with someone already tells you a lot about them, and that is why first impressions matter. However, I maintain my thoughts that you never get to truly know a person in this manner. While how you see them is usually how they chose to have others see them that day, there are times, as one can relate, where one just is not having the best of days with their appearances or situation. As a result, maybe in the time you saw them they may come off to you in a different way than they normally are. No doubt there are days where you did not feel yourself, and your friends noticed this change in behavior. This in mind, it becomes impossible for me to pass judgement on you.

In addition, one of the greatest things about holding back judgments of others is that you learn more and more each day how you are not alone in the world. Sure, we all have our different interests and professions, and we come from different walks of life. However, when it all comes down to it, even the most diffident of individuals will show you that they can be brave, and the most assertive have their softer side to them. We have our hopes and dreams, even when at a point in which we are not sure we have them, or have no clue on where to go. We all have our struggles, fears, and triumphs over adversity. I am certainly not devoid of them, even when I do not show it, and I know for a fact that you do as well.

For one reason or another, the universe (and whatever of the deities you believe in) has placed us all together, at this moment in time, to interact and learn from one another. There is so much we do not know of each other, no matter how open one seems, and yet so much to gain in being with each other in relationships, friendships, and family life. So why waste the possibility of meeting another good person by judging them from that moment in the street, or the small interaction you had from them?

Overall, I think I am in fact a human being like everyone else, prone to make mistakes even if you do not see them, to hide my struggles with laughter as well. I will reiterate, then, that it does not matter who you are, what you have done, how you came to cross paths with me or where you are headed. If you have a chance to find me in life, your opinions will be heard without judgement, no matter what I think of them. As long as you also then respect my opinion in the same manner, I am certain we will get along fine…and if not? Well, I will also respect that decision, but you may be missing out on a good friend.

That said, maybe not, as it is, of course, your opinion. Who am I to judge what you think?

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