There are all kinds of customers in this world: customers who are nice, customers who tip, customers who always order the same thing every time they come in, customers who bring their kids, customers who have been coming in for years. But then, there's you.
I won't point fingers, and I won't name names, but I will tell everyone how you made me feel and how you treated my co-workers. When you come in, it ruins my day, my mood, and my emotional state, because I know that you, out of all the customers that come in, will be rude. I wish I could say something to your face or to tell you exactly what I think about you. Instead, I will write this—a list of things I hear from you every time you come in.
1. I'm sorry that I couldn't read your mind and know that you were allergic to tomatoes.
My bad. Maybe next time you will think to tell the cashier, instead of yelling at them when your burger comes with ketchup and tomato slices.
"What is this?!"
2. I apologize that the prices went up.
Yes, it is all my fault; let me just pick up the check for you.
"Oh my God—$5.50?! Two days ago it was $5.40!"
3. I see that you brought your entire life savings in change today.
And you have the amount written down. Yes, I am still going to count it. Stop yelling at me.
"One. Two. Three. Four. Five, here you go. I just counted it, why are you re-counting it?! I don't care if it's your job, I'm right!"
4. "I'm in a hurry, can I skip the line?"
"I have to take my kid to soccer practice in 10 minutes and I can't stand going through the drive-thru!"
Side note: Inconsiderate. Rude. Why are you still here?
5. Yes, the senior discount went down to 10%.
Yep, this is my fault, too. Let me just go talk to corporate and fix it just for you.
"I'm old! I can't afford this high-priced food!
Side note: Old people are great, but also picky. You should just be thankful that we even have a senior discount, since most places don't.
6. "I'm sorry, our slush machine is down and we can't make frozen lemonade right now.
No, no Moolatte. Sorry, no Arctic Rush. Yes. You can have a soft drink like everyone else. Stop yelling. Stop. You know what—I'll just go fix it for you."
"Courtesy water? Are you kidding me?"
7. Sir, put your shirt back on. No, it's not okay. Sir, have you been drinking?
"I'm Freeeeeee!"
Side note: If you are drunk, don't go out in public. You are literally a disgrace. I don't want to deal with you or clean up your mess.
8. Yes, I do make minimum wage.
No ma'am, I did not drop out of high school. I just graduated. I'm going to a four-year university in the fall. Problem?
"You must have it so hard, working a minimum wage job! Did you have to drop out of school to work?
Side note: Just because I work at a fast food place does not mean that I am stupid. Has it ever ran through your mind that I'm working to save money for college? Or to pay a bill? Get real, people. You aren't "holier than thou," so put those thoughts aside.
9. When someone pulls up ten minutes before closing and you are out of chicken and the fryers are off.
"You need six chicken boxes? Okay, it is going to be about 20 minutes for new chicken. Is that okay, or would you like to order something else? Okay, six chicken boxes, please pull to the first window." Then when they get to your window they feel the need to yell at you because they have to wait. You chose to wait, so you have nobody to blame but yourself.
"I can't believe I have to wait! Well, yeah, I came for chicken and that's what I'm going home with!"
10. I saw you make that mess. I'm watching you.
"Well, you get paid to clean my messes up!"
Side note: Seriously? Are you kidding me? Have some respect and clean up after yourself, you filthy animal.
11. "Hey, my kid just peed all over your floor, you guys have stuff to clean that up with, right?"
Literally, just watch your children for the love of God—it is your responsibility!
12. "Can I get like, 10 extra honey mustards, 12 sweet-and-sours, a box of salt packs, and 200 forks?"
"Oh, and a box of napkins."
13. "I'm on a diet, could you tell me what the nutrition facts are for a double cheeseburger, a large Dr. Pepper, and a fudge stuffed cookie sundae?
How many calories?! Are you trying to kill me?!
"Can you make it with less calories? I'm trying to loose weight here!"
Side note: Well maybe you should go to a salad bar. Just thinking out loud here.
And my personal favorite:
14. I am not a stripper. Do not throw your money at me.
"Thrown money is just as good as money handed to you!"
But, I will continue to smile and nod, and make sure you are happy. Because, after all, the customer is always right.
