You deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else. That's right, I'm talking to you! Stop crying over someone who doesn't deserve this love of yours. Love yourself so much more now and know your value. You ARE deserving of love, and someday you will find it, for now, don't fret. Don't let your past make you resentful and heartless.
So you've had a few mess ups, you've been with undeserving people, you've given away your time and your efforts, and I'll be the first to tell you that it sucks. I'm sorry you were not truly loved and it made you cruel. I'm sorry that you had to experience that heartache. I'm sorry that someone didn't appreciate your efforts. I'm sorry that you were wrongfully misled. I'm sorry that someone walked away from you, or that you felt the need to walk away from someone. I'm sorry that what you experienced was poisoning. I'm sorry you didn't receive something genuine. I'm sorry you received the short end of the stick. I'm sorry you were hurt. I'm sorry you had to stoop so low, you could not contain your tears. I'm sorry you felt like you needed to change your outlook on love. I'm sorry you felt meaningless. I'm sorry you felt like you weren't good enough. I'm sorry you felt sick of feelings as a whole.
You know what though? It's not too late to change that path; It's never too late to be brand new. You are completely and fully deserving of being cared for, of being loved. And you should love yourself right now rather than trying to come up with a list of all the things that are wrong with you. Do the opposite! You hold so many beautiful qualities that someone will be lucky to love someday. Because someday someone will love your mind more than they love your body. And someday someone will remind you how meaningful you are to them. Someday someone will look at you and without saying a word, you will know how much you mean to them. It's not about materialistic things, and what's offered to you physically, but the reassurance you get when you're with that person. Someday you will feel that.
Not everyone in this world is bad, remind yourself of that daily. You can be cleansed from the poison and move forward with your life now. Not everyone out there will attempt to hurt you. But find that balance and be selective of who you let in now. Most importantly, love yourself. Always love yourself. Because the truth is, as much as you hope for that person to complete you, you must cleanse yourself and complete yourself on your own in order for the right person to come along.
Things happen for a reason, so learn from it, and enjoy what you're uncertain of. It's no use going back to yesterday, because you were a different person then. Remember that. It's never too late to be brand new. You will get through the heartache. You will find the light, you will be loved. You will be cleansed. You will be new. You are deserving.