Honestly, its still weird to see everyone I grew up with and went to school with, just going forward in their lives. No, I'm not hating and wanting them to stay stuck. It's nothing like that. It's more amazement than anything else.
When you're a kid, you're always talking about what you want to be when you're an adult. You talk about the life you want to live and the things you want to do and accomplish. So when you're getting closer to the age of adulthood, you get cold feet. At least I do. Just a tiny bit.
It's more so because of where I'm at in my journey and the current path that I'm on. My friends and I may be there beside each other along the way, but that doesn't mean our paths have the same obstacles and ending.
For me, I'm still in college. I'm in the process of doing research and searching for grad schools. I'm looking for schools that have the program I desire and to see if some schools have Ph.D. programs that I can go straight into and earn my Master's along the way.
I have people I graduated with who are in college still, but I don't know their goals post-graduation. I have friends who are working towards their career all while starting their own families (I'm so proud of y'all). I enjoy seeing how everyone has started to come into their own. We are trying to do the best we can with the tools we were given plus what we have to learn on our own.
Also, sometimes I feel left behind when I see that some of my friends are getting married and starting their lives. I just feel as if I'm not where I'm supposed to be and it honestly makes me question myself along with my goals. Like, am I not doing enough? Am I'm just moving to slow or am I on my right path, going the correct speed?
Then I realize that I can't compare my journey with everyone else's. I have my own path that I need to focus on so that I can get to wherever I'm going. I can't live my life if I'm constantly worried about whether or not I need to do the same thing as my other friends. I'll get there in my own terms and time.