Retired baseballer Jose Canseco's Twitter account is a goldmine, overlooked by many but home to dozens upon dozens of bewildering and hilarious dispatches from his enigmatic psyche. Among his favorite topics are the "sandsquatch," his ex-wife, and the various beings of the supernatural. I compiled a number of my favorite tweets.
1-2. 
3-5. 
6. 
7. 
8. 
I don't even know what the fuck is going on here.
9. 
10. In which Jose patronizes Jack Nicholson
11-16. In which Jose patronizes Elon Musk
17. 
18. In which Jose channels Dril
19. 
20. 
21. 
22. 
23. 
24-26. 
These last three are my personal favorites.