So the article I wrote last week had an unexpected result. I wrote about a few jokes to cheer up the History lover in your life, but it turns out my English major fiance needed some cheering up too. In honor of his endless stream of bad dad jokes (love you, dear!), here are 10 jokes I ran across in my attempt to make him smile.
1. Q: How do you get an 'A' on everything?
A: Commit adultery in a Puritan town.
2. Q: What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
3. Q: Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test?
A: Its period was late.
4. Q: What happened when the past, present, and future walked into a bar?
A: It was tense.
5. Q: Why did the comma break up with the apostrophe?
A: It was too possessive.
6. Q: Why was Odysseus in a rush to get home?
A: Because Homer is where the heart is.
7. Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has a pause at the end of its clause and the other has claws at the end of its paws.
8. Q: What does Kurt Vonnegut like on his baked potato?
A: Slaughterhouse Chives
9. Q: Why are writers always cold?
A: They're surrounded by drafts.
10. Q: Why did the pregnant woman shout "Wouldn't, Couldn't, Shouldn't?"
A: She was having contractions.
