16. "Hey, can I walk you home?" | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Education

18 John Mulaney Quotes To Use With Your Best Friends Every Day To 'Throw Them Off Their Rythym'

"STREET SMARTS"

4347
18 John Mulaney Quotes To Use With Your Best Friends Every Day To 'Throw Them Off Their Rythym'

In This Article:

John Mulaney is definitely one of the funniest stand-up comedians for college students across the nation. He is very relatable and incredibly funny for everyone. I know my friends and quote him every single day if something sounds the slightest bit familiar to something he has said during his stand up shows.

1. "Huh, what?

2. "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."

3. "You seeing this shit?  You seeing this Home Alone 2: Lost in New York shit?"

4. "I'll keep all of my emotions right here...then one day I'll die."

5. "Because Bill Clinton never forgets a bitch."

6. "College is just your opinion."

7. "One black coffee, same mother fucker."

8. "What is college? Stop going until we figure it out!"

9. "If I get some fries for the table will you have some?  Will you have some fries...OH I KNOW YOU'LL HAVE SOME!"

10. "Fun mom energy."

11. "So you could say I already gave them $120,000!"

12. "I will pepper in the fact that I am gay for backstory."

13. "You want me to do what?"

14. "In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin."

15. "I'm new in town."

16. "Hey, can I walk you home?"

17. "Because we're Delta Airlines and life is a f***ing nightmare."

18. "You know like when you eat too much chocolate cake?"

These may seem very hard to work into conversation, but I promise it is much easier than you think! These will definitely make for some great memories and laughs with your friends.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Gilmore Girls
Hypable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have been thinking of all the things my mom does for my family and me. Although I couldn’t write nearly all of them, here are a few things that moms do for us.

They find that shirt that’s right in front of you, but just you can’t seem to find.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

10 Reasons To Thank Your Best Friend

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

5932
Thank You on wooden blocks

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

A true friend will tell you if the shirt is ugly, or at least ask to borrow it and "accidentally" burn it.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

A best friend will love you regardless of the stale french fries you left on the floor of your car, or when you had lice in 8th grade and no one wanted to talk to you.

Keep Reading...Show less
sick student
StableDiffusion

Everybody gets sick once in a while, but getting sick while in college is the absolute worst. You're away from home and your mom who can take care of you and all you really want to do is just be in your own bed. You feel like you will have never-ending classwork to catch up on if you miss class, so you end up going sick and then it just takes longer to get better. Being sick in college is really tough and definitely not a fun experience. Here are the 15 stages that everyone ends up going through when they are sick at college.

Keep Reading...Show less
kid
Janko Ferlic
Do as I say, not as I do.

Your eyes widen in horror as you stare at your phone. Beads of sweat begin to saturate your palm as your fingers tremble in fear. The illuminated screen reads, "Missed Call: Mom."

Growing up with strict parents, you learn that a few things go unsaid. Manners are everything. Never talk back. Do as you're told without question. Most importantly, you develop a system and catch on to these quirks that strict parents have so that you can play their game and do what you want.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
tv.com

"Friends" maybe didn’t have everything right or realistic all the time, but they did have enough episodes to create countless reaction GIFs and enough awesomeness to create, well, the legacy they did. Something else that is timeless, a little rough, but memorable? Living away from the comforts of home. Whether you have an apartment, a dorm, your first house, or some sort of residence that is not the house you grew up in, I’m sure you can relate to most of these!

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments