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18 John Mulaney Quotes To Use With Your Best Friends Every Day To 'Throw Them Off Their Rythym'

"STREET SMARTS"

Shelby Davis

Feb 20, 2019

University of Virginia

4344

18 John Mulaney Quotes To Use With Your Best Friends Every Day To 'Throw Them Off Their Rythym'

John Mulaney Instagram

John Mulaney is definitely one of the funniest stand-up comedians for college students across the nation. He is very relatable and incredibly funny for everyone. I know my friends and quote him every single day if something sounds the slightest bit familiar to something he has said during his stand up shows.

1. "Huh, what?

2. "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."

3. "You seeing this shit? You seeing this Home Alone 2: Lost in New York shit?"

4. "I'll keep all of my emotions right here...then one day I'll die."

5. "Because Bill Clinton never forgets a bitch."

6. "College is just your opinion."

7. "One black coffee, same mother fucker."

8. "What is college? Stop going until we figure it out!"

9. "If I get some fries for the table will you have some? Will you have some fries...OH I KNOW YOU'LL HAVE SOME!"

10. "Fun mom energy."

11. "So you could say I already gave them $120,000!"

12. "I will pepper in the fact that I am gay for backstory."

13. "You want me to do what?"

14. "In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin."

15. "I'm new in town."

16. "Hey, can I walk you home?"

17. "Because we're Delta Airlines and life is a f***ing nightmare."

18. "You know like when you eat too much chocolate cake?"

These may seem very hard to work into conversation, but I promise it is much easier than you think! These will definitely make for some great memories and laughs with your friends.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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18 John Mulaney Quotes To Use With Your Best Friends Every Day To 'Throw Them Off Their Rythym'

"STREET SMARTS"

In This Article:

1. "Huh, what?

2. "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."

3. "You seeing this shit? You seeing this Home Alone 2: Lost in New York shit?"

4. "I'll keep all of my emotions right here...then one day I'll die."

5. "Because Bill Clinton never forgets a bitch."

6. "College is just your opinion."

7. "One black coffee, same mother fucker."

8. "What is college? Stop going until we figure it out!"

9. "If I get some fries for the table will you have some? Will you have some fries...OH I KNOW YOU'LL HAVE SOME!"

10. "Fun mom energy."

11. "So you could say I already gave them $120,000!"

12. "I will pepper in the fact that I am gay for backstory."

13. "You want me to do what?"

14. "In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin."

15. "I'm new in town."

16. "Hey, can I walk you home?"

17. "Because we're Delta Airlines and life is a f***ing nightmare."

18. "You know like when you eat too much chocolate cake?"

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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