With the end of May comes college graduation, and great minds from around the world are invited to campuses to impart their wisdom on the bright faces of the Class of 2016. In their speech, the dignified speaker inspires the graduates with promises that they will make a difference in the world, or that adulthood is not so bad-- or they reinforce the importance and value of their newly enlightened state of intellect. Popular author and blogger John Green was a commencement speaker this year at his alma mater, Kenyon College. He spokeabout the importance of listening and the way a liberal arts education can make adulthood actually not seem terrible. Below are 10 important things we all need to take away from John Green’s commencement speech.
1. Keep it Short.
Green promises at the beginning of his speech that, “one way or another, this speech will be over in 14 minutes.” Sometimes when you have an important point to make or are really passionate about something, it’s easy to drone on for a long time. While this passion is important, if you want other people to hear you, keep it short and simple -- it is far more memorable when you are thoughtful and concise.
2. Never forget the people who loved you to this moment.
Green has the audience take one minute to think about all the people who loved them up to this moment. We all have these people in our lives and it’s important to remember them. These people kept us motivated, encouraged us and inspired us to become the people we are today. As Green explains they are also what connects us to the web of humanity. The people who loved you to this moment matter because they helped make you the shining light that you are.
3. Love is not conserved.
Green says this one best, “love is not like mass or energy — it is not conserved…. You will forget a lot but you will not forget the kindness and generosity of those who were kinder and more generous than they needed to be.” Green could have dropped the mic at this point in his speech but he continued on. I think our generation sometimes forgets that love is, in fact, infinite and that we should be generous with our ability to love others.
4. Homeowner’s Association Meetings are awful.
Green guarantees you will waste two hours of your incredibly bright life debating grass length or something equally mundane and that is part of being an adult. Debating grass length is awful but if you change your perspective you will see that it's really about creating a desirable community. A liberal arts education is to thank for allowing you the ability to see things differently than they first appear.
5. College was not preparing you to be an adult; you are already doing it.
The questions you begin asking yourself in college about the world and how you fit in are not one’s you will leave behind. However, what your college education taught you is how to listen to others and how to find answers to these questions from other people.
6. Some voices have been silenced.
There are many loud voices in the world, but Green does something really important in his address: he acknowledges there are voices that have been systemically silenced, yet their voices are perhaps the most important ones to hear, and you cannot listen if you are constantly talking.
7. We have been lied to.
Our society has told us some very problematic lies. The first lie is that strength and toughness are always valued. The second lie is that acting in our own selfish interest is desirable and benefits the world. If we continue to live out these lies because they are the easiest course of action we need to reevaluate our role in the greater human story. As most people have probably figured out at this point, the world does not revolve around any one individual but we all benefit by working together for the benefit of all.
8. Love and listening weaken you-- but that is a good thing.
“It is only when you are weak that you can truly see, and acknowledge, and forgive, and love the weakness in others.” This is perhaps the most important lesson from Green’s commencement address because this is what will begin to heal the brokenness and divide that has overtaken the society we currently live in.
9. Become a collaborator and not the protagonist.
At times, others above you will treat you as less than you are, and that will be hard if you keep seeing yourself as the protagonist of your story. If you shift your perspective and try to see yourself as a necessary working part of something bigger your value will be far more difficult to undermine. See the value in working with others and being a co-creator of something great. Also, when you do become a "somebody" remember how you felt as a "nobody"-and don’t be a jerk.
10. Know when to stop talking.
Green imparts a final piece of knowledge from one of his former professors at Kenyon and reminds the graduates, “you’re a good kid, but you need to learn when to stop talking.” I won't elaborate on this one but rather listen to Green's parting advice.
