Pottermore has hooked us in once more, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy by allowing us to find out what our Patronus Charm would be. If you haven't already done so, check it out here! I must admit, I'm pretty excited about my Patronus, it's a Chestnut Stallion.
Not everyone has been as lucky in the Patronus department. People have been getting salmon.
Had to get sorted into a house before I took the patronus test... Hufflepuff with a salmon patronus I've hit a new low in life
— ㅤRyan (@Guthbox) September 22, 2016
I got a salmon. My patronus is a SALMON. You all get cool cats and stags. I get something that poaches great with dill and lemon slices.
— Marko Kloos (@markokloos) September 22, 2016
Even Luna Lovegood wasn't exempt...
I don't geddit @pottermore...all of my happiest memories are spent in the presence of cats. Why oh why is my Patronus a SALMON?!😟😑 #Patronus
— Evanna Lynch (@Evy_Lynch) September 23, 2016
Others have been getting rats.
patronus: a guardian which generally takes the shape of the animal w/whom they share the deepest affinity
me: cool. what's mine
jkr: a RAT
— ekin (@seIinakvle) September 23, 2016
my patronus is a rat I'm so upset honestly the dementors can just take me
— alysa. (@lovelyaysa) September 24, 2016
But J.K Rowling missed a few items that could be a Patronus. Sometimes an animal doesn't best describe what's inside you... what makes you, YOU! Here are some others J.K Rowling should consider to add.
Taco
Taco Tuesdays have become a ritual if not a weekly holiday for myself. If I didn't already get a Chestnut Stallion (I just wanted to brag a little more) than I would definitely have a taco as my Patronus.
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Basic bitches unite! The second a single leaf falls, regardless of race, gender, or religion, your basic bitch spirit animal casts a spell for pumpkin spice EVERYTHING!
Potato
Sometimes you spend 14 hours on the couch watching Netflix. Nothing wrong with that, just know when a dementor comes to suck the happiness out of you, one of two things will happen. 1. realize you're dead inside and more along. 2. tries to steal your happiness but can't because you've been chucking energy potatoes at it.
Lady Mormont (from Game of Thrones)
So much sass wrapped in something so small.
Abby and Ilana (from Broad City)
They are us. We are them.
Get a Patronus that excited or disappointed you? Share in the comments below!
