"34. And he said, "where have you laid him?" They said to him, "Lord, come and see." 35. Jesus wept. 36. So the Jews said, "see how he loved him!" 37. But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?" John 11:34-37

This passage is easily one of the most overlooked passages in the Bible. However, it is one of the most powerful. There is just one simple verse that makes this part of scripture relate to my life more than any other part of the Bible. John 11:35 "Jesus Wept."

In this part of the Bible Jesus was going to raise his friend Lazarus from the dead. When he saw the pain in Lazarus' family, he felt an extreme amount of pain and sorrow. He completely took on all of the hurt that his friends were feeling.

When Jesus did this it showed just how much he loves each and every one of his followers and enemies. I mean, when he saw those he loved hurting his first reaction was not to sit there and speak empty words into them. No. He wept. I am not talking about the way you cry when somebody dies in a movie.

No, I'm talking about the way you cry when somebody you love dies, or when you lose a friendship that was close to you. Weeping has way more meaning and emotions than simply crying a little bit at a time. When a person weeps they are grieving, and they have no other way to show their pain.

They are so beyond broken that they let it out the only way their body can find a way to. However, if you think about it, not many people allow others to see them when they weep. They tend to want to be secluded so that way they can grieve in peace and silence. Then later they allow themselves to be comforted by those around them whom they love.

When Jesus wept for Lazarus, he didn't care who knew or saw because he wanted others to know of the love He had for his dear friend Lazarus as well as his sisters.

Now, I know this is probably beginning to sound like I am preaching to y'all, but I'm not. What I was doing in the above paragraphs is setting up the background to why this verse is so incredibly significant to my life. I grew up in a church home, with a dad that was a minister. As a minister's kid, I was extremely involved in my church throughout my whole life.

So, when it came to the "struggles" that normal kids go through, I didn't think that I had those. In a naive way, some of us 'church kids" even thought it was cool to have those kinds of "struggles". However, it was even more naive of me to think I didn't struggle with anything simply because I grew up in church and was quote on quote "saved"

Oh boy, was I wrong on that one. About the time my sophomore year of high school was ending, I realized something. I looked at myself in the mirror one day and said "wow, Mal you're struggling. You're not saved, and you've been living your life in a poor way". In all honesty, I wasn't doing all that I could to bring glory to God.

In fact, I was doing what so many others around my church were doing at the time. I, Malory Rush was "playing church". I'd go to church and act one way and then I'd go to school and act a different way around my school friends. I was known to cuss quite a bit and act like a little brat. But quite frankly I was just a young girl who wanted to fit in and not be an outsider all of my life.

I never did anything 'too bad" like getting drunk or going to parties or anything outrageous like that. But i wasn't bearing my fruit, and that began to cause me a lot of pain in my life. I began to lose friends left and right and eventually I wound up alone. I didn't have anybody to turn to because I eventually drove everybody away.

Or so I thought. While it felt like I was alone, I always had a few close friends in my life, my family, but most importantly I had God. During the summer of my sophomore year, I got saved. I began to stop just "playing church" and actually being the same in all aspects of my life. Wow, it's truly amazing how God can turn a person's life around in just a few days.

However, I still wasn't the strongest of Christians. I had self-esteem issues, I trusted in others more than God, I let others manipulate my life, and I continued to stray away from God. This lasted from the end of my Junior year all the way until the second semester of my freshman year in college.

In my senior year of high school, I started dating this guy. Man oh man did I think he was the sun, the moon, and the stars. I fell in love with that guy so quickly I couldn't even blink in time. But boy did that relationship bring its challenges. Sure he brought me happiness and love, but also pain and insecurities.

While I was dating this guy, I allowed quite a bit of myself to slip away. Church became less important, as did my friends. You see, I was about to move so all I wanted to do was be around the love of my life. I mean, who wouldn't have wanted that to be their primary human to be around? However, things got bad when I moved and I got seriously depressed and my anxiety got worse.

Then, (long story short) we broke up after six months of dating. Now, I know that sounds like such a short amount of time and it shouldn't have stung like it did.But man did that break me. My heart longed for my ex for months. let's put it this way, we broke up in September and I wasn't fully over him until late January. I grew to hate him and almost everything that had to do with love and guys in general.

I went through nearly six months of resenting anything and everything. I was extremely far away from friends, family, and even God. I re-entered a stage of feeling completely and utterly lonely. Then one day it hit me. I looked in the mirror again and said to myself, "Malory, you can do this. You're not alone, and you'll always have God, your family, and your friends"

My whole life I read the verse "Jesus wept" and never thought much of it. Until the week came where I literally heard it from somebody different every day and where it came up in almost everything I read. That was when I truly began to examine this verse and those surrounding it.

It then hit me. The entire time that I felt alone, I wasn't. Every time I cried, yelled, and felt broken. God was right there next to me. When I cried, when I sobbed, God was crying with me. He felt every single ounce of pain that I was feeling in each and every one of those moments. That was when I realized I wouldn't ever let myself feel alone again, that I would live my life for God and do all that I could to bring glory to His name.

All of this being said lead to the reason that I got my newest tattoo (see header/side note:it's in greek). I got it as a reminder that I'm never alone, that God loves me more than anybody else could ever imagine, and to remain steadfast to his truth and I will be alright. Yes, I'll still have challenges, but with my eyes on God, I will experience true joy and always have somebody next to me. And for that, I will forever be grateful.