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Jeff Goldblum is Going to be in the New Jurassic World

Hollywood has answered our prayers

Parker Barry

May 10, 2017

University of Puget Sound

Jeff Goldblum is Going to be in the New Jurassic World

Oh God, it's all happening.

We all remember Jurassic World, Christ Pratt starred in the revival of the best movie saga of all time. But, our world (some might call it our Jurassic world) came crashing down around us when we found out the worst possible news: Jeff Goldblum wasn't in it! Hollywood gave us Chris Pratt thinking we wouldn't notice the atrocity they just tried to sweep it under the rug. I know I was devasted, Dr. Ian Malcom would not be returning and Jeff Goldblum failed the American people.

Yeah, they had one returning character from the original movie, but it was this guy (BD Wong):

and his classic black turtleneck could never make up for Jeff Goldblum's absence.

But, fear not!

Jeff Goldblum is going to be in the new Jurassic World, premiering June 22nd, 2018. Hold onto your butts everyone because this movie is going to be straight-up amazing.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Jeff Goldblum is Going to be in the New Jurassic World

Hollywood has answered our prayers

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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