Every bird is raised in a nest. It has been that way since the age of the dinosaurs, and it will be that way until the sun explodes. That's just how it is. The eggs are laid, the chicks are fed and nurtured, they grow to a proper size, leave their nest, and embark on their life's journey. Well Jay was no exception to the rule. He could not wait to leave his filthy flea ridden nest. He had no siblings, but due to his mother's clinical obesity the nest was cramped. And on top of that she was always eating the god damn food. How the heck was a bird supposed to grow if the mother is eating six meals a day? Jay was fed up, and one day when his mother was away he left. He didn't tell her or anything. He didn't think he had to. He just packed up, and left. That's how Jay was, he was a bird of few chirps.
There was one problem with Jay leaving. He could not fly. This didn't bother him very much though, Jay was not one to worry. Yet, you would think that any sane fowl would decide to leave the nest when they know that they can fly. Anyway, Jay hobbled down from the old oak tree that he grew up in, and took his first steps that were not in the nest. He looked around, and soaked in the beauty of the land. It was a spectacle, Jay must have soaked in the glory of the day for a good fifteen minutes before he decided he should do something. He wasn't in the nest anymore. He could do whatever the hell he wanted. Being a bird of some intellect, Jay decided to ask somebody for directions.
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After looking around for a while, Jay found a friendly looking snail. He went up to the snail and asked, "Say old fellow. Do you happen to know of a place I could go. I want to be away from here. I want to go to a new intriguing place. I want to go on an adventure". "Well slow down son" said the snail. "You can't go leaving these woods, you here. The further you go the stranger things get. The critters get odd. The landscape gets odd." "What the hell are you talking about. Has your brain turned to bananas" said Jay. "Well boy, you can listen to me or not. You better stay in these woods. They're safe. I don't know whats wrong with the world, but it's so damn strange once you leave the woods. Stay." Jay responded with, "You can't tell me what to do you crusty snail. I left my nest today. I'm going on an adventure. In fact, I'm gonna go as far away from these woods as I can". After saying this Jay stormed away. He really worked himself up, and was walking at a speedy rate. So far nothing was out of the ordinary. That snail was wrong thought Jay.
Suddenly, Jay noticed the landscape was getting a little odd. He came across a large lake, and there where many columns towering over its shores. This confused Jay. Perhaps the snail was correct. Yet, who cares. "HI" hollered a tiny squirrel. "Hey, I'm Jay what do you go by?" "SQUIRREL!" "Oh.. okay can you tell me where I am?" "I AM HERE AND YOU'RE THERE" replied the squirrel. "Ya, okay whatever. Listen buddy I have grown weary. Can you tell me if there is a place to eat and rest around here?" said jay. "YOU BIRD" said the squirrel. "Yes", "EAT BIG WORM" said the squirrel. "Big worm? Who the heck is the big worm, I was just hoping that you would point me in the direction to some berries or something. Big worm that sounds like a bunch of nonsense if you ask me." "BIG WORM ACROSS LAKE! GO NOW" said the squirrel. Jay did not respond. He thought about it for a while and came to the conclusion that he was on an adventure. It would be a sin for him not to travel, and search for the big worm that squirrel was hollering about. He wasn't that tired anyway. So, Jay set off.
Jay made it across the lake with ease. He landed on what seemed to be an island made entirely of the pits of peaches. "Maybe that snail was right" Jay said out loud. He had no choice but to venture into the island. Jay was looking for somebody, anybody to tell him where he was. He eventually came across a small human sitting on a fungus. "I am the Fungi Dane" said the man. "Hello, glad to meet you. I'm Jay. Hey a squirrel from across the lake said a big worm lived on this island, do you know of him? "Yessir. I know of Big Worm. He is my good pal. Unfortunately he moved away." "Why is that? Also can you tell me why everything is so strange in this area it's very confusing." asked Jay. "He moved away, because he likes to be away. He is only happy when he is away. That is why he moved away. I can't tell you anything. Big Worm knows all the answers" said the Fungi Dane. "Then if he knows all the answers then why did that goddamn squirrel tell me to eat him" snapped Jay. "I believe that squirrel was an it." said the Fungi Dane. "An it?" Jay was puzzled. "All its are twits. They do not deserve to be classified as a he she or me. Its lie, and like to give you false information. Well don't worry. I'm not an it. And I'm telling you that Big Worm knows all. Go to Big Worm". "Um okay. Where is away" said Jay. "Away is away" responded the Fungi Dane. Suddenly, the Fungi Dane vanished in thin air, and Jay was left alone. He was very confused, but thought it would be best to continue on with his journey. Maybe meeting Big Worm would be interesting, thought Jay.
He was walking for hours. The peach pit covered island was desolate. Jay saw no signs of civilization, little vegetation, and had absolutely no clue where this worm could be. Jay was beginning to feel really fatigued and thought he should rest. He found a cozy peach pit on the ground, closed his eyes, and feel asleep. He must have slept for hours. By the time he woke up night has fallen, and he couldn't see a thing. It was total darkness. Due to the blankness of the landscape, Jay could not decipher if he was asleep or not. It was an odd sensation. He sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. Doing nothing, and just hoping that at light would return to the world. Fortunately, it did. The sun broke the horizon, and light flooded the peach pit covered island. Jay said to himself, "Man I want to go home. I'm famished, parched, filthy, and exhausted".
Now this was easier said then done, for Jay was dreadfully lost. He had no idea what direction home was, so he kept wondering. He must have gone the wrong way, large spiral staircases began to emerge from the ground, and odd flowers were blooming within the cracks of the peach pits. As Jay kept walking he ran into a salamander. "Hey, do you know where I am" asked Jay. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm" responded the salamander. "What?" snapped Jay. "Hmm Hmmmm Hmm heellloooo" said the salamander. "Listen. Can you just tell me where I am? I'm far from home and exhausted, and a little knowledge of where I am would be swell." "IIIII dddddooooooonnnnn'tttttt knnnooooowwwwww whhhhoooo yyyyoooou arrrreee" replied the salamander. Suddenly, the salamander left Jay confused. Well the only logical thing to do was to go onward. Jay wearily started to walk again. The landscape slowly became more, and more bizarre. Things started making less, and less sense. It felt like Jay was traveling for an eternity. Yet, Jay was concerned. The land was beyond weird. You couldn't explain it. Jay saw colors that he didn't know exist, abstract shapes that even the world's greatest artist couldn't draw, and sounds that sounded like no other. Suddenly, the entire landscape went blank. In the blink of an eye everything was white. There was no sound, no shape, no color, no smell. It was nothing. Jay had travelled into a realm of nothing. Feeling hopeless he sat down. Jay then regretted leaving his nest, and going on this great journey. He should've listened to the snail. He should've stayed in the woods.
It's funny how time isn't really a thing in this realm. All Jay could do was sit, and thats what he did.e couldn't tell how long he was sitting, but it felt like a long time. On the horizon Jay saw something. It was a large long pinkish creature. Jay rushed to it. He ran, and ran but it seemed like he wasn't going anywhere. However, Jay kept pushing he moved his legs as fast as he could. The large pink creature slowly became even larger. Jay was getting closer. He finally reached it. It was a big worm. "Hello, are you Big Worm?" Jay asked. "Yes" said the worm. "Where am I" asked Jay. "You are in the realm of nothing". "How did I get here?". "You travelled to far. But fear not. I can send you home. You see once you leave the woods you can never get back without my help. Some don't travel that far from the woods, but eventually living in such a strange place begins to take a toll on the mind. Some can't help it, and go crazy. I am surprised you made it this far. I haven't seen someone here in years." said the worm. "Can you really get me back? That would be amazing". "Yes" said the worm. "However, if I see you in my realm again I will eat you. You know I come here to be alone. Yet, most of all don't leave the woods. There's no going back for the most part when you leave. You must stay" said the worm. "Okay okay Ill never leave the woods again" said Jay. Suddenly the worm sucked Jay into his mouth and spat him out with an immense force. Jay was catapulted through the air, and landed harshly in his nest. Jay thought said to himself, "What just happened". His fat lard of a mother then returned with the evenings meal. Jay did not know what happened, but he was back in his nest, and safe. He was to young to be leaving the nest anyway.
