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Jane in the Jungle

My life in the Big Apple.

Sep 26, 2016

To live well in the city, any city, anywhere in the world, is not always possible. So far I have found myself in endless troubles and conundrums.Everyday I find myself overcoming obstacles and trying to live care-free. I must admit being care-free has far from happened whilst living in NYC. Daily I have to meet my needs, pay this, pay that, commute, run here, run there, find a boyfriend, talk to my mother. It has not been easy folks and on top of this, I have to deal with my demons and other peoples demons too.

Well, let me talk briefly about my demons for now, for that is really the juicy part of the story. Life was hard, but all my problems intensified when I started dating. The more I started dating, the more things started spiraling out of control.I had a streak of bad luck, I guess you can call it, with sociopaths, liars, married men and all sorts of other "unwanted elements" trying to get into my panties.

And then on top of this fiasco, things got even worse in 2015 when director Sam Taylor-Johnson released the Fifty Shades of Grey. That was the year, that for me, romance died. I became entangled in even worse scenarios with all sorts of folks coming my way expecting all sorts, after saying a simple hello. I was shocked. I felt mortified. It was really like Sex and the City, only I was neither rich nor famous and the men were not hot! It was like "Sleaze and the City." A true drama!

But, folks what could I do? I had to sit and take it like a champ, understanding that finding a man would be way harder than paying any bill. I was an independent woman after all, right? I had to deal with my vented frustration. I took up yoga, cycling, surfing and even obstacle training. I started tango classes. Things started to look better, it seems as if finally, life in the city, even though without a man, started to become more care-free and balanced for me.

It was good for a few months and then came something worse than 50 Shades of Grace. It was the pre-election mayhem, real hell...

Now, I decided to start a column for my well-being was totally shattered. I need to change the irreversible, I need to feel like my well-being is in my hands. And so I write, for you and for myself about improving our lives in the urban landscape. Call it the new Tarzan in the jungle. Stay tuned :)

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Jane in the Jungle

My life in the Big Apple.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!