Jaded: a term for someone who’s been broken in every way possible by almost everyone they come in contact with.
Now, a boy can be jaded but in this instance, it’s a girl. The girl who’s tried so hard for everyone and somehow always ends up at the bottom or getting hurt when she tries to make everyone else happy except herself. This is the girl that even though she’s not happy, will still have a smile on her face and joke around like nothing was wrong with her. It works - most everyone can’t tell how broken she is because she hides it so well. The light that was once in her eyes has faded, the pure happiness for life she once had has slowly deteriorated. The only person that can tell is her mom.
Everything’s different, growing up is never easy, there’s a lot of responsibility that comes with growing up that as kids we never realized. Our problems as kids were minimalistic and I wish I could go back... Worrying about what was for lunch or who your gym partner would be. Once you grow up, it’s like everything flies by. School, work, hours in the day, but most importantly, time spent with family. You take advantage of your family because you don’t realize that anything can happen in a split second and change your life forever. Death of a family member jades you, heartbreak jades you, a lot of things do. Everybody you’ve thought that would be in your life for a long time turned out to be the people that were in your life the shortest and you’ll never understand why.
She’s been jaded by everyone she comes in contact with, she’s been broken by the people who are never supposed to break her, but build her up. She’s been jaded for so long it’s a never-ending cycle she doesn’t know how to break. She doesn’t trust anyone anymore so she never knows who’s lying, who’s telling the truth, who really wants what’s in her best interest or who simply just wants to hurt her even more. She believes no one wants her to succeed and everyone wants to hurt because that’s all she knows. She doesn’t know how to love the right way because she’s never known that feeling, she knows fighting, arguing and leaving.
Everyone leaves, some without reason and some because they never wanted to stay in the first place. She’s everyone fallback or go-to when their life is in shambles, but who’s her fallback? She’s so worried about keeping everyone else happy that she lost herself in the process and can’t find her way back. She’s so far gone it’s consumed her everyday life, everybody changes, but you should change for the good and for yourself not because people want you to. But when you’ve been hurt by almost everyone you know and love, you change not because they wanted you too but because that’s what happened and you didn’t realize. You fix everyone but who fixes you when you can’t fix yourself? Exactly. No one.
