Growing up in a world that practically revolves around social media, it has become very hard to “forgive and forget” when somebody does something that hurts you. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter give us all a place to vent our anger and say some horrible things that we don’t mean, and while at the time it may feel like we are letting off steam, all these harsh words do is add fuel to the fire. Today, it’s almost as if social media glorifies being petty towards someone who did you wrong, whether or not they even intended to do so. This way of life that discourages forgiveness and encourages fighting fire with fire is one of the reasons that true friendships and strong relationships are so rare today. 

If I’ve learned anything from my past relationships, it’s that holding grudges against people will cause you to harbor hate in your heart. You may not mean for it to happen, but before you know it, your entire outlook on life will change. A single thought of someone can throw off your entire mood and cause you lash out at somebody who isn’t even involved in the situation for which you are mad about. 

I’ve always had a problem with holding grudges against people that hurt me. It wasn’t something I was proud of, but I honestly felt that the people who hurt me deserved to hurt the same way I did, so why on Earth would I want to forgive them? This way of looking at life made me a very bitter person. Many people who know me know that I wasn’t my happiest self in the past few months, all because of my unforgiving nature. I knew it was wrong to hate and hold grudges, but I couldn’t do what was best for me and for everyone else around me: let it go. 

Letting go of all my anger and hate and forgiving those that hurt me wasn’t something that was easy for me to do. In all reality, it was one of the hardest things that I’ve done in my life and it’s not something that I could have done alone. Ephesians 4:31-32 says “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” This verse really hit home with me. Here I was holding grudges against people who probably didn’t even realize the little insignificant thing they did hurt me when Jesus forgave me after my actions were what sent him to die. Nobody that I have ever held a grudge against actually sent me to my death, but my decisions were what nailed Jesus to the cross, and HE STILL FORGAVE ME. If he can forgive me after everything I’ve done, I can forgive every single person that’s hurt me in the past. After all, God’s already forgiven them, too. 

Since I’ve had this huge change in heart, I’ve learned so many new things. I learned that not forgiving somebody for hurting you doesn’t affect them. They don’t hurt because you don’t forgive them; the only person you’re hurting is yourself. I’ve learned that letting go of the hurt and the anger makes you a happier person in general. When you’re no longer full of hate, you can see the joy in little things you may not have seen before. The most important thing I’ve learned, though, is that sometimes those people that you’re so dead-set on not forgiving could possibly end up being an amazing friend to you. All those times I spend soaking in rage at someone for hurting me could have been spent forming a strong friendship that may last for years. 

I’ve taken such a big step in growing closer to God since I’ve decided to let go of my grudges. I’ve decided that even though sometimes everything in this world is telling us to hate and hurt and slander another person’s name, God wants us to care and love and show others how amazing he really is. Every single time we get hurt, we’re given the choice to forgive or to hold a grudge. I’m happy to say that I finally choose to forgive.