"Maybe one day we’ll meet again, when we are slightly older and our minds less hectic, and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me. But right now I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart."
Being a college student, the world is your oyster. You can go in so many directions and are not held back due to serious commitments besides classes and grades.Timing is something you'd never think would affect you. Timing can mean so many things for many different people. Timing is something that recently was brought up in my life that stuck to me and I have not been able to shake it off. I didn't realize how important it was to someone. I always thought you meet people and if it works out then you live happily ever after. There is so much more to a person then what they tell you directly. Look at the behaviors, the indirect communication like facial expressions and what the bring up in a conversation on a daily basis. These little things that can be hard to pick up on can mean so much more than just a story, or a smirk.
Being treated right is CRUCIAL. Everyone should be treated with respect and honesty. If those two elements are not in the equation that there might be something off. I understand that one might feel that they should be treated like a 'princess/prince' , and yes there are times where that would be acceptable, but being treated with respect means so much more. I would rather have someone treat me right than be lavished with materialistic things and words with no meaning. I want everyone, no matter the relationship that I have with them, to tell me things honestly and directly. Its just the right thing to do, and if someone is bending these factors to the equation, then its a huge red flag that has to be taken seriously. If things are said, they cant be taken back-good or bad. Its hard when something is said that you don't EVER mean and 99% of the time when things are said it is not 'us' talking, its because of other outside factors, which still is not an excuse-ever.
It is okay to let go. It's not easy and it's not fun. It is one of the hardest things, and I am still struggling through it. Being with someone who makes you the happiest person is something you should hold on to. That person can make you feel like you are on top of the world and can conquer anything. You know that if you need a shoulder to lean on, they are racing to be first in line. Constantly checking in to make sure your day is going well and even just sending you a sweet text to let you know you are being thought of. Deciding to stay in on a Saturday because the night before you both got a little too optimistic and are not feeling 100%, so the next best thing to do is to binge watch your favorite TV show.
Once its over, its hard to conceptualize that you are going to be okay because YOUR world just fell apart. You're going to be sad and hurt. It is going to take days, weeks months to just get a normal life again. Being with someone you adapt to a different way or life, which isn't bad, it is just hard trying to find you again. My world fell apart and my world has to be put back together, by me, no one else. That is so scary, but i know that I need to be okay and happy with myself before I ever decide to give someone the chance to care about me.
Why is it considered wrong to be sad though? I don't understand. I don't understand when people tell me to act like you don't care, and fake a smile and make them see that you are okay with out them. The thing is, I care way to much than most people probably. I cant just act like I am okay and over being hurt and sad. The truth is, I am not okay. I am not happy and I am not going to fake a smile because that's what social media wants to see. It would hurt me more to see someone 'live their life and #single' and act like they didn't care about me or the relationship. I think that it is appropriate to mourn and honestly it is OKAY to be sad. It shows that the relationship meant something to you and it hurts that is over. Yes, smile throughout the day, but do it for you..and I am going to do it for me. Do it because you want to smile and be around good company, not just to 'show' that you are 'okay with out them'
With all that said, YOU ARE WORTH IT. You are worth their time, their energy, their love, their commitment. You are worth someones honesty and respect. It is okay to let go of someone who wasn't giving you their all, and if someone messes up. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to feel hurt and be confused.People are only human and can only handle so much at one time, and if you are the one that messed up admit to it. It sucks, and no one is going to tell you otherwise, but we are only human. We are not perfect people, but we can try our best to be the best for the one we care about. Things happen all of the time. Working on yourself to be the best version you can be is so important. It is only going to make you stronger and better than before. Everyone you meet is a lesson. They teach you SO much about yourself, the world, how to be a better you and its scary to think that it could go away in a instant. but.... YOU DESERVE TO BE SOMEONE'S WORLD AND TO BE ABSOLUTELY ADORED. We will get there, maybe not today or tomorrow or even a year from now. But it all works out- one way or another.
