I don’t ever solely write about relationships because I haven’t been inspired to talk about them. It seemed like it is the norm to have mediocre relationship standards. There are rules to a relationship. Everyone wants loyalty, consistency, chemistry, and good sex. Yeah, I agree those things are great but you should want something more than that.

Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade, Will and Jada, and Beyoncé and Jay-Z are pretty much society’s relationship “goals.” Not that anything is wrong with those relationships, but you're selling yourself short making them an example of what you want your relationship to be like.

If you model your relationship after a celebrity couple, consider Erykah Badu and Andre 3000. Keep following me, please. “Hello” by Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 has been on repeat literally since last night. Most people would agree it’s a pretty nice song, but I got a deeper meaning behind the song. The ending of the song says: “Its important to me, that you know you are free, Cause I never want you to change for me, babe.” That statement is so powerful in itself.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the things that don’t matter. We want a person to adapt to our preferences. In actuality, a person shouldn’t have to change who they are for the sake of a relationship. When you are looking for a best friend, you don’t have any requirements. You just want them, and only them. The emotional baggage that they have doesn’t even matter, you accept it. There would not be a need to play any games. That bond you have with that male/female has a foundation of friendship.

Most of you don’t even know what the qualities of friendship are. The typical qualities are: trustworthy, honest, dependable, loyal, empathetic, non-judgmental, supportive and fun. Most of the bullshit I see and hear people wine about is right there. Stop getting in these situations with people you haven’t even established a friendship with. You don’t play games with a FRIEND. If that situation doesn’t work out with you and that girl/guy, you all can be friends after because of the foundation that you built together. Instead of building an empire, build a friendship. Sometimes things just don’t work out. You can be an awesome woman/man for the wrong person. Stop reading so deep into finding “love.” Stop digging so deep to try to find that perfect man/woman. Dig deep to find that one confidant.

At this point in my life, I’m not looking for a girlfriend. I’m looking for a best friend. I’m looking for a woman who, despite the challenges we face, will always remain friends with me. Who will support and be genuinely happy for me even if we don’t work out. Find a person who will LOVE you, for you! A bond without the influence of social media. A relationship to where you don’t have to force to show each other off. Simple but deep. That’s unconditional love.

We love people conditionally. We give up on conditional love. Unconditional love never fades, no matter the circumstance. Rethink those relationship goals because you don’t fall out of unconditional love. You don’t even question it.

Now that’s goals, contrary to popular belief.