No matter the day, week or month, I constantly feel your touch weighing heavy on me.
I never thought that I would have such a feeling resting on my shoulders for such a long time. Being the strong girl I am, I'm always trying to find healthy outlets to release my pent up emotions. But no amount of drawing, video gaming or driving has been able to distract me from that everlasting gaze that radiates from your hazel eyes. Something about that twinkle in your eyes brings me back to the moment you stood above me, consoling me about something I had no say in. What disgusts me more is the fact that I know that you don't give shit about my well being, which is why I'm done letting you consume all of my thoughts.
It's done. Over.
At the start of all this, I thought that once this thing ran its course it would be over, a done deal. Boy, was I wrong, like always. In this situation, the stages of grief hit me like a freight train. First, I made jokes and danced alongside the issue like it was nothing. I was OK with it. Anger came next, wrecking some of my lifelong friendships and even breaking myself away from my own thoughts. Skip over the bargaining stage and jump straight into the here and now. As I'm sitting down and writing this, I'm torn between wanting to run away from this article or posting it loud and proud. It's hard to accept that even after such a long time, I'm still not okay with it.
Wasting your life moping is no way to live, so get up and tie your shoes tight; the ride ahead is quite bumpy.
As hard as it has been for me in the past five months, I think it is time for me to kiss your memories goodbye. It's been a long five months and I'm finally ready to lock you up, and throw away the key. You are nothing more to me than a toxic relationship and I'm done trying to justify your existence. I shouldn't be worried about you anymore, because I know that you sure as hell are not worried about me. It is time for me to start fresh, without fear and full of happiness.
This is a part of me, but not all of me.
Even with you gone, you will always be a part of me. Maybe not the best part of me, but you've sure taught me many lessons I will be passing on to my friends, younger cousins and future children (way down the line). I will never show fear anymore when in a relationship. I will speak my mind from this day forth and never hold back. I will never be silenced. Along with that, I will not be afraid to reject actions I do not wish to partake in. This is my life, and no one has control of this but me. Therefore, get away from me and my memories and start living in silence, because no one likes to listen to a vicious liar like you.
