Women especially have to learn where their true validation is. It is human nature for us to seek approval from others. We are relational beings that need to know that what we feel is acceptable. When we don’t receive justification, we are disappointed with the source that we look to for validation.
Take a second to reflect on where you are looking for your approval. Are you relying on a parent, a boyfriend, or a best friend to confirm that you’re succeeding? If you answered yes, you are definitely not the only one.
In all honesty, this is a difficult article for me to write. I would love to sit here and say that I don’t need anyone or anything to defend who I am. However, I would be lying to myself and to my readers. As women, we like to put on this façade. It is challenging to admit that our worthiness is dependent on someone else’s opinion.
Last Monday, I found myself in my professor’s office to discuss a failing grade. Life caught up with me and I had seriously bombed a test. Nearly in tears, I sat across from her explaining what had happened. I was disappointed in myself and fearful that she thought I was a lazy student who didn’t care. I was more concerned with her opinion of me than my own. I knew that I wasn’t an apathetic student and that I did my best given the circumstances, yet that didn’t matter. One lousy grade doesn’t determine my work ethic or intelligence.
Ladies, we seek confirmation for our beauty in the number of likes we get on our pictures. If we don’t get a certain number of likes, we feel like we don’t look pretty enough. Have you ever deleted a post because not enough people liked it? We have all done it. Yet, we posted the picture for a reason, so that means that we must have approved of it. When did it become normal for someone else to replace our own internal validation? By persistently seeking validation from others, you will inadvertently invalidate your own self-worth.
Unfortunately, today’s world says that we must be humble. Giving ourselves credit is misinterpreted for selfishness. Nonetheless, we have forgotten what it means to put ourselves first. The inner self is a powerful thing.
They say that the woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet. Consider this the next time you post something. Dress up not to be noticed, but to notice yourself. Earn a test grade not to show off, but to prove to yourself that you can work hard. Validate your own feelings and realize that they matter regardless of who else believes them.
