Ah, what a beautiful time of year. The leaves are changing colors, there's a brisk note to the air, the world gets dark at 4:30 pm which is uncomfortable but okay, I guess. Isn't Impeachment Szn magical?

We have finally come to the point in Donald Trump's presidency we've all been waiting for and expecting since he descended that tacky gold escalator in 2015 and threw our country into turmoil. Today begins the public stage of the impeachment inquiry, which is also known as community theatre.

A lot is happening all at once, so let's break it down

Why are we even doing this? I get it: Democrats hate Trump but like... isn't this super extra?

I mean it is extra, to be fair, but we have gotten this far in the Trump Presidency without beginning an impeachment inquiry so that should speak to how serious the allegations are.

To recap: in July, President Trump called the new president of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky, a man living Stephen Colbert's dream of making the transition from comedian to president. During the call, President Trump told President Zelensky and said, "I would like you to do us a favor though because our country has been through a lot and Ukraine knows a lot about it." This alleged quid pro quo, or a favor granted in return for something, asked that Ukranian officials initiate an investigation into Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden and his son Hunter Biden's involvement in a Ukranian company called Burisma to receive a military aid package Congress had already approved. This is incredibly ironic, to be sure, as Trump is accusing Joe Biden of being guilty of Hunter Biden's corruption due to his affiliation with an international company, ignoring (for what I assume is not the first time) his children and everything they do.

Also, something that I truly cannot get over is that the White House released the transcript for the phone call and when you search it up, the file, I shit you all not, is called "Transcript!!!" which is something I would call a file but, and I can't believe I have to say this, I'm not the President of the United States.

Also, what even is impeachment? Does that mean we're finally giving Trump the boot?

Not necessarily. Impeachment is a multi-step process and a truly messy one at that. Here's how it works:

1.) The House of Representatives has the power to impeach a president. This is basically a trial in which representatives bring forth witnesses and evidence to prove that a president is guilty of "high crimes and misdemeanors." For example, the House impeached President Bill Clinton for obstruction of justice because he told the American people he "did nothave sexual relations with that woman [Monica Lewinsky]" even though he did, he Monica Lewinksy-ed all on her gown.

But Clinton remained in office until the end of his term. How did he do that if he was impeached?

That's because of Step 2.) Once the House votes to impeach a president, the trial then moves to the Senate. Think of this as the sentencing stage: the Senate, based on the House's investigation, either vote to sentence the president to removal from office or they don't. Still using Clinton as an example, the House impeached him but the Senate did not remove him from office.
And before you even ask: yes, this is incredibly partisan. Impeachment, by nature, is inherently partisan. This is why the Democrat-lead House began an impeachment inquiry into Trump and the Senate, currently lead by a turtle who wished on a star and became a real boy Mitch McConnell, has already said they would either not remove Trump (hardline MAGA senators) or that they have no comment because they'll be a juror and they can't reveal their stance (people who would jump off a bridge if all their friends were doing it).

What does this "public stage" mean? Who's going to be there? What's the Rubicon?

Republicans currently in Congress belittled the inquiry because witnesses were being interviewed behind closed doors. Ignorant of the fact that there are Republicans who serve on the committees the witnesses are testifying before, a group of GOP congresspeople (there were women there too #feminism) led by fraternity president Matt Gaetz stormed a hearing, presumably hoping to live-stream it, rack up YouTube followers, and finally claim the status of media influencer that has long evaded him making everyone wonder: "maybe we shouldn't elect Millennials to public office."

In response, House Democrats collectively said, "you know what? fuck you" and voted to formalize the impeachment inquiry. This means that witness testimonies will now be public and live-streamed by nearly every media outlet for the foreseeable future. Now, of course, Republicans are saying that the impeachment inquiry will become a glorified witchhunt as it will all be a performance for public opinion, surprising anyone who thought the GOP would be satisfied getting what they wanted which was no one.

The witnesses will be questioned by the House Intelligence Committee, led by Chairman Adam Schiff (D-CA) and Ranking Member Devin Nunes (R-CA) as well as their counsels interviewed and will interview witnesses for 45 minutes each. This is different than the usual investigatory structure where each member of the committee gets a certain window to mainly grandstand and also try to ask the witness a question (like I said: community theatre).

This week, to kick us off, Former Ambassador to Ukraine and high school AP American History teacher in another life Bill Taylor will be repeating his scathing testimony. His Type A personality and his meticulous notetaking of the Ukraine Scandal was so accurate, it forced Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland to amend his impeachment testimony. We don't have to break down all the reasons why the Ambassador to the EU is involved in a scandal about Ukraine seeing as the country is not even in the EU, but involves rich white men in a metaphorical circle jerk of privilege. This isn't the last we've heard of Sondland, so more on him later. We will also be hearing from Deputy Assistant Secretary of State George Kent who has the resume of a certified genius and the best fashion sense of all the impeachment players.

Former Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch will testify on Friday, and hers is particularly emotional as she was essentially forced out by Trump's goons and their cyberbullying. Where's Melania and her First Lady Campaign when you need her???

And finally, the Rubicon is a lovely river in Italy, but also an idiom referring to the days of Julius Caeser which is used in reference to a point of no turning back.

Who is Adam Schiff and why does President Trump hate him so much?

Representative Schiff is America's only cool vegan and Chairman of the Intelligence Committee, one of the committees involved in the impeachment inquiry. Starting around 00:31:00 of this coverage of the hearings, you can see Schiff handle GOP stonewalling with composure worthy of an Oscar. This is something he clearly doesn't take lightly and regardless of which side of the aisle you're on, it's clear that he's a respectable politician.
Which is probably why Trump hates him.

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