Everyone always talks about "setting the bar", but I'm here to tell you that as far as dating in your twenties is concerned, the bar is non existent. It seems like guys, and girls, avoid even mentioning "the bar" like it's the black plague, that somehow by even thinking about it they will become overcome with swollen boils and oozing sores. This is not an exaggeration.
Adults (cough *family* cough) always ask, rather innocently I might add, "My oh my, the boys must be all over you! I can't believe you're still single!". You and me both grandma.
Let me break it down for you. When we were little girls growing up we would sit in front of our televisions watching movie after movie, show after show, of beautiful women getting swept off their feet by a modern day prince charming destined to live happily ever after in their trendy yet horrible over priced apartment in NYC, sporting the latest runway fashion while attending the grandest of grand balls and galas exchanging meager "chit-chat" with Ferrari-owning-mansion-living-billionaires. Sound like a dream? Well it is, sorry princess. The only way us modern twenty something females will ever get to live that fairy tale is by watching The Princess Diaries with our girls on wine night.
Now I don't know how, but somewhere along the way boys lost the message. We've gone from "I'll pick you up at six" (and actually coming to the door to pick you up) to the casual "heyy gurl im outside" text we've all grown accustomed too. From dinner and a movie to Netflix and chill. Romantic phone calls to 3 AM booty calls. A broken twig set on the back of an ant would be higher than the bar we've collectively set for ourselves.
I'd like to believe that there are still some good guys out in this world, but that hope dies a little more every day. Guys in their twenties treat girls like games to be played and prizes to be won and for the most part we let them. We play along with their little games, come crawling back after they've broke our hearts by sleeping with the girl down the hall. We answer their late night texts and give away our bodies like they are worth nothing. We create online profile after online profile in hopes of finding Mr. Right, failing to realize that any man worth dating isn't going to be trolling dating apps looking for his next easy catch.
Ladies I know you want a relationship, a real relationship, with someone who will love you and cherish you until the day you die, but to do that you've got to stop looking for temporary fixes. Stop giving yourself away to the temporary guy who views you as nothing more than a sexual trophy. Yes I know we live in a world where pleasure is instantaneous, but anything worth having isn't going to happen over night. You're next drunken hook up isn't husband material, he's just a guy giving you what you think you need, instant pleasure.
We've set the bar low. Scratch that, we haven't even been bothered to set a bar at all and that needs to change. Guys, stop treating girls like animals and for the love of all that is good in this world learn to plan an ACTUAL date that doesn't end in sex. Seriously. Ladies, DEMAND MORE. Until we stop accepting the bullsh*t that we're being handed nothing will change. Yes guys have set the bar unimaginably low, but we're the ones that have allowed it to continue for as long as it has. Don't give in to every guy that smiles at you, most of them only want one thing and you my darling deserve so much more.
It is time to take back our relationships and end this madness. Does that mean we'll have to be single for a while? Most likely. So what, use that time to better yourself. Take grand adventures and live a little! Don't waste your time day dreaming of Mr. Right.
Ladies, time to trade in our broken twig for a real bar and start setting the standards we all deserve. We've left our hearts in the hands of boys for too long and it's time we take them back.